My friend Derek sent me this link and I thought, “wow, what a great thing to blog about!”

It is true - gay men don’t have the hang-ups about approaching women that straight men do. “We gay boys were simply relating to girls as equals — sharing stories, plotting fan clubs, and making scrapbooks.” Gay men approach a woman as an interesting person; straight men approach women as a possible mate and with all the hang-ups and insecurities related to her possible reaction to them. “The point is that your early relationships with girls rested on expectations that you had no right to form in the first place.” Amen, gay boi. Amen.

I had an acquaintance in college who was never without a girlfriend. He was one of those “Flavor of the Month” type guys - every time you saw him, a new girl was on his arm. He wasn’t drop-dead gorgeous and to be frank, he had the common sense of a block of concrete. Why did he always have a girl? His guy friends finally figured it out one day. A “normal” single guy only pursues a girl or two every month. Ethan, however, asked out just about every girl he met. It’s a numbers game.

As far as online dating, I know many guys who will look at a girl’s profile and say, “Oh, she’s too pretty, she wouldn’t like me.” They’ll dismiss a girl who seems perfect for them because they are letting their insecurities dictate their actions. “She probably has tons of guys better looking than me emailing her.” How do you know? She might not receive much email at all. She might have a thing for a guy with a fur sweater for a chest. She might think bald is sexy. You can’t assume her likes or dislikes based on her profile picture. (Now if she gets specific in the words in her profile, that’s another story!)

The best approach to online dating is to cast your net wide. Email all women who pique your interest and whose basic criteria you meet. Worst case scenario - you hear nothing back or get a polite “No Thanks” email. What have you lost? Nothing. What have you gained? Out of the 20 women that you email, there may be one or two who are interested in you and will write you back.

What do you write? That’s something we’ll discuss soon! Want help NOW? One-on-one help is available if you hire me!

Geek’s Dream Girl
$14.99 - Profile critique via AIM - Will read your existing profile and give you some ideas on what to fix to make it more readable and attractive. For those who get some attention, but would like more.

$29.99 - Profile editing - Will edit your existing profile for readability, remove any red flags, and make it irresistible to the type of person you want to meet. For those who have a complete profile, but it’s just not getting any bites.

$49.99 - AIM Consult & Profile Writing - Consulation via AIM about you, your goals & desires, and will rewrite your profile from scratch, including two options for headlines. For those who either have no profile yet or are ready for a complete change of direction.

$49.99 - Email Consults - Have a great spark with someone, only to have it die off after a few emails? Why not have a Geek Girl perched on your shoulder, ready to help you read between the lines of her emails and helping you say exactly what you want to say? One month of consultations.

Get started by opening your account on match.com. I’ve tried them all, and match is the one I keep coming back to again and again. Lots of people, a great interface, and it just flat out works (when you know how to work it!).

If you feel you’d like the eHarmony approach (without the eHarmony rejection!!) try match.com’s Chemistry service for help finding the match that’s best for you: