Is Online Dating Racist?

I found this interesting blog post today: BaltAmour: Preference or racism?. It’s written by Maryann James, a 20-something black lesbian…and a cute geeky-looking one at that! (Any Baltimore geek lesbians in the house? Check her out!)

The original question:

Is online dating racist?

Ms. James comes to the conclusion that this isn’t the right question and suggests this one:

Do racial dating preferences make you racist?

I think both questions are a bit far-fetched. I do not consider myself to be racist. I have friends ranging from super pale (my boyfriend!) to chocolaty brown (fave coworker!). However, when it comes to the type of men that I am attracted to as romantic partners, I find that I am most attracted to white men, followed by Asians (especially half-Asians!) and Latinos.

Would I date a black man if I met one that piqued my interest?   Sure.  Have I, in my 13 year dating career (my first boyfriend was when I was 15), met a black man I was interested in as a romantic partner?  Nope. Does this make me a racist? I should hope not!

But the question presents itself… if you are open to the possibility of finding someone with similar interests and passions who is a different race than you, why not put “Any” under your match’s ethnicity?

I guess it’s the same reason why we put preferred gender (men only!), age (26-36), height (6’0″+), education (BA/BS or more!), income (steady job with growth potential, please!), family (no kids and don’t want ‘em either!), etc, etc etc.

We’re looking for that perfect match.

Does that make me a hater of lesbians, old men, shorties, dummies, McDonalds employees and breeders? Nah. (Ok, I do harbor a certain antagonistic attitude towards stupidity, but that’s another post.) It makes us dreamers… am I the only one?

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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