I am brilliant, if I do say so myself.

The Problem:

Our cleric just accepted a new job in Seattle and has to move away. Tonight will be his last night playing with us. So no more Frank (and Daisy!). It will be sad without him. Alas, the game must go on, so we had to search for a new healer.

My Solution:

Where does one find a geek on a Friday evening? Craigslist personals, of course! Here is my ad:

Drow Scout Seeking Healer – 28 – w4mHi,

My name is Mar’Kessa and I’m a Drow Scout. I’m running around the jungles of Eberron with a kick-ass shifter tank, a sneaky halfling, and a dumb-as-bricks gnoll. Our cleric has accepted a position in another realm and will be leaving us after our next adventure.

If you would like to heal me (and let’s face it, who WOULDN’T? Once you go Drow, you never go back!), please send me an email detailing your previous healing experience and whether or not you’d be free on all Friday nights for the foreseeable future.

Write me if you understand what I need and are able to provide it and I will provide more information.


(Everyone knows that craigslist ads with pictures get more hits!) The way I figured it, I’d either get people genuinely interested in playing D&D with us or some amusing perverts.

After about 10 minutes, the emails starting coming in:

Email #1

I think the time is right now! Hit me up and let’s hook up! I live alone. I am 6 feet tall, 195 lbs, dark hair and dark eyes. I have AMAZING —— skills I would love to show you! I live alone and am waiting to hear from you! Hit me up ASAP! Not a stalker but DEFINITELY FREAKY! You know what I mean and you will LIKE it!Ciao Bella!

Email #2

I am a real healer. I will lay my hands upon thee.

Email #3

Hi Mar’Kessa,

I’m an experienced paladin and would be happy to Lay Hands on you as needed. Indeed my past adventuring companions have been glad of my Magic Fingers feat many times.

And of course, being a Paladin means that my friday nights are pretty free. (One of the many downsides to my chosen class.) So if you would like to party together I would be happy to bring the iron rations.


Hmmm, the last one seems promising. Slightly pervvy, but with geek potential. (“Iron rations” tells me he plays/played EverQuest.)I emailed back:

If you are interested in playing D&D with our group, call our GM, J—-, at ###-###-####. :-) ~Kessa

He emailed back:

Aww. And here I was hoping that this was the cleverest personal ad I’d ever seen. ^^ Should have known better than to think there was a single gamer chick out there. But I’ll give J—- a call, I could do with a friday game and I love Eberron.


Sure enough, he’s going to come by and hover over our game tonight and meet everybody to get a feel for the group (hopefully only figuratively!). I hope that he gets along with all of us and would make a good healer for our group. I want to keep playing!

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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