Personal Ad Makeover: Tom (Before)

Tom Before:

About me and who I’m looking for:

I am a mass of inherent contradictions. I suppose you could call me “complex,” but I am perfectly consistent once you see all the moving parts in action. I am a non-conformist who works in management. I loathe politicians but work in government. I am a mediocre athlete who has won a few national championships, mostly through being really stubborn—or how about “goal-focused.” That sounds nicer.

I have a four-year old daughter who means the world to me. I am the prototypical doting father. A time spent reading book with her is just about my favorite activity.

While I am not afraid of change, I enjoy routines. Workout/shower/Starbucks/bookstore is a typical Saturday morning, except the days with my daughter, when the bookstore visit usually comes later in the afternoon after the zoo. And, the books have more pictures in them.

I have many sports heroes. Some are icons, but most are iconoclasts. I try to live my life like Steve Prefontaine: leading from the front, fearlessly. I certainly do not always succeed at that, but I think maybe the trying is as important as the succeeding. While I wanted Floyd Landis to carry Lance Armstrong’s legacy, instead he made me lose faith in cycling. Evander Holyfield is still The Man. Did you know that Sir Stephen Redgrave earned his fifth Olympic gold while managing diabetes? True story.

I am very sensitive. I consistently tear up even watching The Natural or You’ve Got Mail. But, we can both pretend that I have something in my eye—there is no need to make fun of me. Counter intuitively, though, I am not particularly empathic. I generally have no idea how people are feeling, and I am terrible at reading facial expressions. For me to know something, folks have to tell me. Once I know about it, I am all over it though.


I am honestly not certain of my “perfect woman” but I do know some traits that matter. Most important, she will communicate clearly and honestly. She will be sincere in her affections for friends and family, and value them. She will be intelligent and outspoken, or at least confident in her opinions even if she chooses not to announce them. She will have a healthy lifestyle, be fit, and know that manners matter. And cute is good, too.

for fun:

I enjoy restaurants, getting together with friends, movies, exercise and reading. I like going to jazz bars and plays; I should do both more often. I am not a fan of loud bars, and smoky bars are exponentially worse; yay for the smoking ban!

my job:

I am a public servant. I am one of the few Americans that does not consider “bureaucrat” to be a nasty word. I think it is very important to our society to have smart people trying to improve government services. Political hacks drive me berserk.

my ethnicity:

I am a mutt, mostly Western European. I can track my ancestry back to Josiah Bartlett, a signatory to the Declaration of Independence. “So, I got that goin’ for me. And that’s nice.”

my education:

I have an undergraduate degree in Political Science and a graduate degree in Public Finance.

favorite hot spots:

The boathouse. Barnes & Noble. Starbucks. OK, admittedly, these are not “hot spots” but they are the most likely places to find me.

favorite things:

The best pop music was between 1980 and 1986, and I never tire of it. I love the Pet Shop Boys more than any straight guy I know. Vivaldi is for rowing steady state on my erg; Nine Inch Nails is for intervals. Costumes are required on Halloween!

last read:

Recently I read Wonder Boys, Heroes: Saving Charlie, NEXT, JPod, Secrets of the Widow’s Son and a few fantasy novels (my reading candy).

Comments have been disabled. They will be enabled on the “After” post, so just hold your horses. I’ll fix him good!

UPDATE: Tom’s After Profile

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)