Personal Ad Makeover: Tom (In Progress!)

biketreeI’m finally working on Tom’s profile (the 9-to-5 has been insane lately!) His profile had a LOT of information.

Remember when I posted about verbosity? Tom is the poster child. (Sorry,Tom!) There are also some red flag sentences that needed cleaning up. Once it’s all over, Tom will have a shiny new profile for match.com.

But for now, let’s learn from his mistakes!

Thanks for being so brave, Tom.

Red Flag Statements:

I am a mass of inherent contradictions. I suppose you could call me “complex,” but I am perfectly consistent once you see all the moving parts in action.

What this says: “You won’t get me. I’ll be worse than dating another girl.”

I loathe politicians…

Talking about loathing is NEVER okay in a profile. You will attract more people by talking about what you love.

…being really stubborn—or how about “goal-focused.” That sounds nicer.

What this says: “I am stubborn. Really stubborn. Don’t expect to get your way if I want mine.”

Counter intuitively, though, I am not particularly empathic. I generally have no idea how people are feeling, and I am terrible at reading facial expressions. For me to know something, folks have to tell me. Once I know about it, I am all over it though.

What this says: “I won’t ever get you. Unless you flat out tell me EVERYTHING, I’m going to be utterly clueless.”

Now to be fair, Tom has lots of great stuff in his profile. These are things that his new profile will feature.

  • I am a non-conformist who works in management.
  • I have a four-year old daughter who means the world to me. I am the prototypical doting father. A time spent reading book with her is just about my favorite activity.
  • While I am not afraid of change, I enjoy routines. Workout/shower/Starbucks/bookstore is a typical Saturday morning, except the days with my daughter, when the bookstore visit usually comes later in the afternoon after the zoo. And, the books have more pictures in them.
  • I try to live my life like Steve Prefontaine: leading from the front, fearlessly. I certainly do not always succeed at that, but I think maybe the trying is as important as the succeeding.
  • I consistently tear up even watching The Natural or You’ve Got Mail. But, we can both pretend that I have something in my eye—there is no need to make fun of me.
  • I like going to jazz bars and plays; I should do both more often.
  • I am one of the few Americans that does not consider “bureaucrat” to be a nasty word. I think it is very important to our society to have smart people trying to improve government services.

Check back soon for same Tom, better package!

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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