I am glad to know that cluelessness is a male genetic trait. LOL

I do see the point about emphasis on the positive, too. Another of my female friends suggested a related thought: even of the positive stuff, if everything is in the profile, what else where there be to learn in the first date? I think that is similar to your earlier post talking about leaving some room for women to see how they might ‘fit in’ to your life.

This process is really eye-opening to me. I hope that it might help other guys reading, too. Thanks for doing it!

-Tom

As far as “surprises”, these are things that will come up gradually as you get to know one another. Graham is right – it’s best to have her see “stubborn” and judge on her own whether it’s “too much stubborn” for her to tolerate.

I see your point about the stubborn bit. On a related thought, if everybody else only says positive stuff about themselves, and you are the one guy being overly honest about your negative baggage, then readers might assume that you are *even worse* because you must be nuts to include the negative stuff otherwise. LOL

I am also with you about the clueless part. That is just true about most guys, as much as I am sure it frustrates the fair ladies.

-Tom

Sometimes, probably, but the thing is, they probably aren’t as bad as they might come across in writing.

If you write “I’m exceptionally stubborn” that can turn someone away right away, whereas if they found that out through getting to know you, it might not be so bad.

To be fair, this does cover most of us guys.

We can be empathetic easily, but empathic can be hard.

I am intrigued! I find your thoughts as you go through the process as a neutral observer to be very interesting, and revealing about what folks might think as they read my profile. I cannot wait to see what you come up with!

I definitely cede the point about wordiness; I am entirely guilty of that. And, I have a tendancy to over-analyze, so I think that comes through, too (I assume as a negative). Brevity is not my strong suit. LOL

That said, is there something to be said for revealing some of my personality traits in the profile so there are fewer surprises, even if they are not “good” ones? I acknowledge all of your points above make total sense, but I do think that many of them give a reasonable impression of who I am. (Well, except maybe the “stubborn” part– honestly, I think “persistent” or “determined” or the like is a better way to express that– it is not always about getting my way, so much as refusing to surrender on principle.) Anyway, I guess my question is: will giving too much information shy folks away, or is there value in being very open?

Hmm. Intriguing! (And verbose. Surprise, surprise. LOL)

-Tom