“So… um… we seem to be getting along pretty well on chat, so how about we go to dinner and a movie on Friday?”
BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING.
There are so many other things you can do for a first date other than dinner and a movie. Why ask her the same question that every other guy has asked when you could do something different that sets you apart from them?
Dinner is all fine and good, but let’s explore some of your other options, shall we?
In alphabetical order (because it’s fun!):
Arcade: Found a gamer girl? She won’t come to your apartment on the first date to challenge you to a game of DDR, but how about meeting at the local arcade? Bonus points if you can find a time to do it when the minors are still in school.
Bookstore: For me, bookstores are great for extending a good coffee shop date. You can learn a lot about a person by the areas of Barnes & Noble they gravitate towards. (For my geek boy, it’s straight to the RPG area – did you know that it’s really hard to find gaming stores in Detroit? Sad but true! You gotta buy your minis at Barnes & Noble or Borders!) Wander the aisles together, talk about books you’ve both read, recommend books to each other… offer to loan her your copy next time you see her…. hint, hint.
Coffee Shop: Coffee shops are great for a few reasons. For starters, it’s a short date. If you’re not sure about her or you feel she’s not sure about you, it’s a very small time commitment and gives you enough time to scope each other out and then bail with no guilt if it’s not going well. The other great reason? Even with the crazy prices at Starbucks, it’s still a cheap date.
Crash A Wedding: Seriously. This is a fun Springtime date, but has to happen mostly by accident. Scope out the outdoor areas in your city where couples get married. Pretty lakes, rose gardens, golf courses, the beach, wherever. Dress semi-fancy (think khakis and a button-down). On a first date, girls will usually dress nicer than jeans anyway. Take her out for a walk in the park, through the public gardens, or on the golf course, where you can happen upon a wedding and stop and watch. Secretly, even if we don’t admit it, we’re all keeping a mental wedding planning list.I don’t recommend actually CRASHING the wedding unless you both have the skills and the guts – and hey, if you do, you’re a great pair!
Dollar Store Challenge: This is a post date fun activity. You each have $5. Tell her to buy 5 things that describe who she is. You do the same. Meet up outside and share your treasures and learn about each other (and your senses of humor!).
Flea Market: These places are totally fun. My geek boy and I went to an indoor flea market and laughed at all the ugly clothes, greasy food, and (scary!) the abundance of tattoo establishments. Some of them cost a few bucks to get in, but the entertainment value is high!
Goodwill/Salvation Army Clothing Challenge: You have $10 each and have to find an outfit suitable for a night out. Pick your own clothes – trust me, you don’t want to start a first date with… “So… what are you? Size 14?”
Mini-Golf: I love mini-golf (even tho I am awful at it). Sadly, as an adult with adult-like responsibilities and with no children in my life, I rarely get to go. So if someone said, “Hey, on Friday, let me take you out for a round of mini-golf. Whoever loses has to buy the ice cream!” I would be all over that!! Again, fun, short time commitment, cheap!
Open Mike: Find a coffee shop or other establishment that has an open mike night. As a Music and Creative Writing double major, these are exquisitely painful, but hilarious. My college bf and I used to go every Thursday. The best poem was one that a guy wrote for his wife… it began… “To my black, black, black, black QUEEN….”
Quiz Night: Lots of restaurants and bars have quiz nights. Some have organized games, others just have the controller at your table and you can choose to play against other tables. This is a blast and requires you to work together to win. Teamwork activities are great for building a relationship. Besides, if you pick a weird team name and are winning, the other tables will be saying, “Hey, which table is d20dorks?!?!?”
See Local Talent: Music, theater, dance, art…. check your local artsy newspaper and find something that seems interesting to both of you. Or better yet, let her introduce you to her favorite bit of local flavor! (This will make her feel both secure and valued!)
Volunteer: There are great non-profits in every city that organize volunteer activities, many of which are one day commitments. Why not take your date to landscape the yard of a low-income elementary school? You can get dirty, help the community, and get to know each other. Oh, and did I mention it costs you NOTHING?
Zoo: Nothing says “first date bonding opportunity” like watching monkeys get it on. Okay, maybe other things do. Maybe.
Happy dating, geek friends.
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About e
If only we had half of these, hell two of these, around here. Yay tiny towns surrounded by tiny towns surrounded by tiny towns! From the list, dollar store is probably the only thing (well, wedding too I suppose, but not many nice parks around here for a farm town).
Can I interject here ‘e’… some of your propositions are a bit too ‘girly’ for your average male geek’s concept of a 1st date…. (Inviting a girl for shopping on a first date can conduct directly to the dreaded ‘friend’ box of the checklist)
A movie can be a great first date if the movie is geeky enough… it’s the perfect geekometer…
After that, I’d propose a walk to the nearest coffee house so we can discuss that movie and how it relates to others of the Geek genre…
Then, you steer the discussion toward a semi controversial subject of geekdom and you make a semi-bogus claim about a comic book character or Sci-fi… and way before it turns into a fight, you suggest going to the nearest comic book store and settle this with the owner.. and browse the cool stuff there
If it’s too late but the disscussion was fun and exciting, you may propose the comic book store as the next pre-date!
my 2 cents.
Some great stuff, e, I think there’s potential in that dollar store challenge.
I have to disagree with ChattyDM, as much as I enjoy his blog. Shopping is a great idea if you do it right. Let’s face it, most guys have terrible fashion sense, so if you develop even a little bit of your own you can use it as something to make you stand out from the crowd. Believe me, women like a man who can actually give an opinion on clothes, so it’s a skill I advise you give some attention to!
Generally, though, I’d use shopping as an immediate follow up to a coffee date that’s going well.
As for getting categorised as a friend, that’s a whole different subject and you can avoid that by being APPROPRIATELY forward in your… intentions. I don’t mean anything seedy, just make it subtly obvious that you’re interested in being more than her friend. Lots of (appropriate) casual body contact and flirty banter are good places to start.
Chatty you sound like you’ve done that before. That sounds like SGOP. Standard Geek Operating Procedure.
Actually, there are some decent gaming shops in the Metro Detroit area…
Monkeys!
Also, is there no problem that a Jonathan Coulton song can’t make funnier?
Joe – Please share!
I always enjoy doing the quiz thing and with a bunch of others and we all decide on a theme for our names….like characters from the X-Men or funny play on words like “Ping” and “Pong”. I’m far too easily amused with things like that.
Sorry for the delay on this…
Blue Dragon Games
45581 Mound Rd, Shelby Township, MI 48317
R I W Hobbies
29116 5 Mile Rd, Livonia, MI 48154
I haven’t been to a whole lot of shops in the last few years, and Rider’s Hobby stopped selling RPG materials, so Amazon and eBay have been my main sources lately.
Many a great idea….and not even for a first date. I think taht I may put some of these on our itinerary for the future. Maybe i’ll be deeme ‘creative’ or even ‘romantic’ haha!
Great list.. I see some good ideas there.
Hey you definitely have some great ideas for a first date… but I really enjoy my dinner and a movie. Especially since for me, the movie is free! Huge fan of mini golf though. Well written!
Joe
Joes last blog post..Movies This Weekend! 8/1/08
Thanks! Free movies are (almost) always good. For instance, I just saw Mamma Mia for free and I wanted my 2 hours back.
Very good list. I like the dollar store idea. I have used the mini-golf many times, make sure you race on the go-karts.
If she’s a true geek or gamer, it can also be fun to go to the local public lan room and go a few rounds on your favorite games.
@ Jeremy – Thanks for stopping by! Go-karts are super fun, too. And bumper boats!
i did the dollar store one once in 9th grade. it was fun but i wish i had money. plus i ended up laughing at one point and a big gob of snot came out my nose… too much fun CAN be a bad thing.
comedy clubs are fun first dates also.
mma gear´s last blog post..The Blade Tapout MMA Shorts
In addition to Blue Dragon and RIW, I recommend checking out Pandemonium Games in Garden City. Their storefront is a little more user-friendly than RIW’s (far less “packed to the walls”).
For my first date with my long distance girlfriend, I took her to the Boardwalk in Santa Cruz. It was an excellent success.
And yes, I do realize that that’s a very localized thing, and not everyone has amusement parks within travel distance, but if you have the opportunity and she/he, or you, have never been on a roller coaster, I suggest it.
Love the list. I would also add the museums if you are in a more urban setting can be a total blast. Personally, the best museum for a first date would be something fun like The Exploratorium in San Fran. But I have found just about any hands on museum can be a total blast. ^_^
But then again something super geeky like going to play Magic at the local comic book store can be fun. My fiancee took me out one night to learn how to play (we got all sorts of fun cards and my super awesome rare card luck had him super jealous). It might not have been a conventional date but we had a great time and grabbed a quick bite to eat at the pizza palor near the comic book store.
But then again I have also enjoyed spending the day playing with a new pair of characters on world of warcraft (great day spent questing and free if you both already play).
Blue Dragon closed back the end of May.
I’d recommend Sundance Cards & Sci-Fi
47397 Van Dyke Ave, Shelby Twp, MI 48317
The owners are VERY knowledgable on a range of topics from Magic to obscure board games to collectibles of all sorts. Small store but customer interaction and service are top notch. If they don’t have it in stock they can order it and have it shipped to your house.
I like the suggestions.
I have to say, I love a shopping date with a girl. . . we can try on clothes together =)
This is a great list, thanks for posting.