Of course, sometimes things turn out well. You date them, they don’t dump you, and you take a magical walk down the aisle in clothing that cost a fortune and will either never be worn again or promptly returned to the Men’s Warehouse to avoid late fees.
I’m not bitter about marriage. But having been at over a dozen weddings a year as a musician, I can tell you first hand that there are women dressed in white who are not walking down the aisle for the right reasons.
Call them Bridezilla or Anna Nicole, these girls have motives. Motives that sometimes even they aren’t aware they have.
Rather than explain the beauty of “I Do!” in a normal type of way, I figured, why not describe them in terms a geek will appreciate and understand at a deeper level?
The Nine Dating Alignments!
I’ll marry you because…
Lawful Good: We’re totally in love, will spend the rest of our lives together, and raise beautiful children.
Chaotic Good: I know we just met, but I love you, love you, love you!
Neutral Good: We’re in love. Plain and simple.
Lawful Neutral: Our parents say it’s the best match for the families.
Neutral: You’re the first one who asked.
Chaotic Neutral: We’re in Vegas, baby!
Neutral Evil: I conned you into proposing and will be draining your bank accounts while you sleep.
Chaotic Evil: I already have a husband in that state I travel to for business and need one here.
Lawful Evil: You give me social status and cash flow I wouldn’t have on my own.
Can you come up with some other “I’ll marry you because…” reasons?
Post ‘em below in the comments!
If we get enough good ones, I’ll put up Part Deux!