Have I mentioned I hate moving? I really do.
The ONE thing I like about moving is the ability to purge one’s life of all the stuff that hasn’t been touched since the last move.
They just opened a Goodwill near my apartment, so I think I’ll be making several donation trips before I leave!
Either way, while avoiding doing actual work, I started daydreaming about how awesome it would be if I could do this move with some magical powers.
Mordenkainen’s Magical Moving Men
Summons 13 hunky moving men of various flavors, all shirtless. They easily move all heavy furniture without breaking a sweat. Unlike mortal men, Mordenkainen’s Magical Moving Men do not get cranky while moving.
Incantation of Sorting
Chanting the Incantation of Sorting will result in all of your small items in a room being sorted into the following categories: Use Daily, Use Weekly, Use Monthly, Use Yearly, Haven’t Touched Since You Moved Except To Move Them Out of The Way.
Faeries of Dumpster Tripping
Once you have decided to purge your life of things in the latter category, the Faeries of Dumpster Tripping will magically transport said items to the nearest dumpster.
Truck of Excellent Transmission
Has anyone ever noticed how awful moving trucks are? One of my previous moves, I had a UHAUL that would lurch repeatedly whenever you were stopped. For once, I would like a truck that makes me feel like I won’t die before I reach my destination.
Teleportation!
Do you know how hard it is to apartment hunt when you can’t actually visit the apartments? I am stalking the availability page for one townhouse community – very nice, but they rarely have one bedrooms available. It would be so sweet to just wiggle my nose a la Samantha Stephens and appear in another city to visit for a few hours. NOT TO MENTION how much this would help my love life!! (I miss you, my geek boy!)
Charm of Blissful Feline Slumber
Mr. P really hates car rides. By really hate, I mean he protests vocally for the entire ride. The Charm of Blissful Feline Slumber, when worn on the collar of a cat, provides said cat with a feeling of calm and relaxation, causing it to sleep peacefully for long rides in the Truck of Excellent Transmission.
Pixie of Notification
Summon the Pixie of Notification and she will telephone all of your major accounts – banks, insurance, credit cards, student loans, utilities, etc – and arrange for old accounts to be closed, new accounts to be opened, and mailing addresses to be updated.
Doppleganger of Errand Running
The Doppleganger of Errand Running does any work that requires you to be physically present to complete. For example, the DoER can stand in the obnoxious lines at the DMV and get your drivers license.
Oh, if life were only this easy!! In the meantime, locate me in my closet, digging through piles of junk I should probably throw away…
About e
Mordenkainen’s Magical Moving Men
:But all of Mordenkainen’s stuff is invisible. You don’t get to see their hunkyness.
Incantation of Sorting
:Not actually a spell, but Bardic Music, See Mary Poppins for details.
Doppleganger of Errand Running
:This spell might get Tiefling Barristers after you.
But all of Mordenkainen’s stuff is invisible. You don’t get to see their hunkyness.
No it isn’t
(And even the faithful hound is only invisible to all but the caster.)
I am not afraid of Tiefling Barristers!!
All my experiences with moving men have been very bad. I’d just use a Meteor Swarm to deal with them, and rely upon my +5 Friends of Awesomeness.
Yes, but were they Mordenkainen’s Magical Moving Men or just NORMAL moving men?
Any book shelves or furniture you are giving away/sell let me know!!!
Did I mention Lisa will be moving in with me by next week. =)
The invisibility of the moving men was my first thought too.
As for Tiefling Barristers:
In 3e they are scary, because they are part fiend, and therefore are not the sort of folk you want to be on the wrong side of a contract from.
In 4e, they aren’t quite so menacing. Instead of being descended from the folks who buy souls from gullible people, they’re descended from the gullible people who sold their souls. In 4e, it’s the Cambion barristers that you’ve got to watch out for.
Loky – I’m lacking in enough bookshelf space already!!
Would you like a fishtank? I have a 55 gallon and a 20 gallon I’m looking to get rid of. 3 goldfish come with the tanks. Their names are Red, Hump, and Pirate. Pirate has one eye. He’s super awesome.
I really hope he got named Pirate because his eye was poked out, not the other way around.
I found him at Petsmart. He had one eye, but the socket looked healed up nicely, so I bought him. The guy at the store thought I was nuts when I was like, “Yeah, gimme the one with one eye.”
He swims a little sideways, but other than that, he’s a good little fishy.