A Goat, Some Rope, and Some Beer…

Goat!On the post about Running Jokes/Gags/Etc in your campaigns, I got a comment that was such comedy gold that I really had to repost it as its own page here.

Thank you MrJames for this story, which made me cry with joy. It is that good!

In fact, I think for my next campaign, my character will insist on a goat, some rope, and some beer.

From Mr. James:

I recall a Forgotten Realms jaunt, where the goal of the quest was to find a certain portal.

Before leaving, we equipped. Our rogue insisted on only three inventory items. He wanted the largest keg of beer we could transport on the wagon. He wanted rope, at least two thousand feet (!!!) of rope. And he wanted a goat. Preferably a mean goat, as he would feel worse about what was to come if he had a chance to grow fond of the little guy.

His plan, of course, was to tie the rope to the goat, and have the goat explore the portal. If we pulled back a gnawed and bloody stump of rope, and no goat, than we would declare it to be the wrong portal and keep looking. The beer would be for Billy’s wake.

Never happened.

But the items came in really, really handy all the same. The goat was able to climb the gorge with the rope and the halfling, enabling the rest of the party to cross. The half-orc raiders were invited to partake of the ginormous cask of beer. Twenty gallons later, they had passed out, and we rolled them for spare change and moved on. The rope provided cheap armor repair for the fighter. The goat made a listen check the rest of us failed, alerting us to danger. And so on, and so on, and so on. The ginormous keg even served as a boat for the halfling at one point, after, alas, the beer had gone.

We never again left for adventuring without “A goat, some rope, and some beer.”

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

Speak Your Mind