Online Dating Etiquette 101: Don’t Cut-N-Paste Emails

As a girl, there is nothing grosser to receive in your online dating mailbox than an email that was obviously sent to everybody else.

I have to admit, there is a double standard here.

Girls, we can get away with sending cut-n-paste emails.  You know why?  Because guys rarely get emails from girls.  A lot of the girls out there expect the guys to come to them.  If you’re proactive and email a guy, you will most likely get attention.

It’s unfair, I know.

But it’s reality.   What does a cut-n-paste email look like?  How can you write an email that shows you wrote it just for her?

The Cut-N-Paste Email

The women will not beat down your door if you send them an email that could have been sent to Any Girl, AnyWhere:

Subject:  Hi.

Hi, I decided to give this online dating thing a try.  I’ve never done this before.  Your picture really caught my eye.  You seem really cool.   I’d like to talk to you more, so if you like my profile, write me back.  Have a great night.

-Joe

Well Joe, you have a few hurdles to leap before she’ll consider writing you back.   Know what they are?

  • Her email box is relatively empty.
    That’s right folks, if she has more options, she’ll take them.
  • Your picture is insanely attractive.
    Yes, you read correctly.  We’ll forgive a cut-n-paste if you look like Johnny Depp.  What? You don’t look like him?  Guess you’ll have to write a better email.
  • Your profile is amazing.
    A lackluster email can be redeemed if your profile sparkles.

If you are unable to leap these hurdles, then you need a good email!

The Just For Her Email

Match.comWriting a great introduction email does not require an English major or a lot of effort.  It just requires you to be perceptive and write a few sentences that convince her that you wrote it just for her.

A good email does three things:
1) Has an eye-catching subject line related to something she likes.
2) Makes references to her profile so she knows that you have read it in detail.
3) Ends with a question that entices her to write more about herself.

Let’s try it:

Subject: Do you smell what Barack is cooking?

I noticed you volunteer for Obama’s campaign in the Chicagoland area.  Maybe that’s why you look so familiar… I think I saw you dancing with a sign somewhere!  I’m a fan of Obama myself and can’t wait until he’s President (wishful thinking?).  I’d like to get involved in the campaign, so if you know of a way I can help, please let me know.   Nothing like getting to know someone while wielding a staplegun and assembling lawn signs, right?

A good email is what will get your foot in the door.  Remember, most of the girls will not come to you.  You will have to go to them.  If you have a beautiful shiny profile, it won’t get you far if you’re cut-n-pasting the same email to every girl.

Take the time to respect each of your potential matches by crafting a short and sweet email that is just for her.  You will see results!

Happy dating, geek friends.

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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