Poll & Comment Fest: Why’d You Quit Online Dating?
Curiosity is what will kill me, geek friends.
I want to know…
If you have tried online dating and quit, why?
I have noticed quite a few people signed up for the 7 Day Free Trial at Match.com and then decided not to continue and am just curious as to the reasons why geek guys are abandoning online dating.
Since people love to be all anonymous and click on polls to participate, I have put a poll for you to use. Please elaborate in the comments, too!
Loading ...
I’ve actually got a pretty cool story…
Decided I’d stop trying to find Ms. Right and just find Ms. Right Now. Eventually I’d stumble on Ms. Right.
Had a post on Craigslist. A chick named Becca replied. I emailed her back, and never heard from her again.
A few weeks later, I replied to someone else’s post on Craigslist, another chick named Rae. Eventually we discover that the previous Becca who replied then ignored me is Rae’s best friend.
I started dating Rae for a while, and it didn’t work out. Then I started dating Becca, because frankly I thought I could get laid with her (I was right
). And we’re still together 3 years later, and she truly is the love of my life. So that’s why I quit the online dating scene.
Now I’m in a weird situation… We’ve recently opened our relationship (still monogamous, but allowed to play with others), so I find myself once more combing the wilds of the online dating world and rediscovering all those frustrations of spammers and people ignoring you. Of course, it doesn’t sting quite so much since I already share a bed with the woman of my dreams every night.
Asmors last blog post..Random Encounters: Fifteen
@ Asmor - Two of my friends who just got married a couple months ago started out as a random hookup. Just goes to show that sometimes those kinds of relationships DO go somewhere sometimes!
It hasn’t been enough to drive me away from online dating as a whole, but I’m done with the pay sites.
The way that Match.com and Chemistry.com conduct there business is pretty sketchy. It’s free to register and add a profile, but you have to pay in order to actually send or recieve e-mails or otherwise communicate with other users.
I don’t have a problem with that by itself. The problem is that they then turn around and use these non-paying members to encourage others to join their site. They show up in searches, with nothing to indicate that they aren’t full members–but when you e-mail them, they can’t respond without forking over $30+. Match.com doesn’t specify last-activity dates past 3 weeks, so you have no way of knowing whether someone was on the sight in the last month, or if they haven’t been back since they signed up three years ago.
Chemistry.com is even worse–They only ever show you five people at a time, so you have know way of knowing how many people are among your potential matches. The matching algorithm they use is seriously flawed too. You basically have two options: Yes, I like this guy and want to talk to him, or No, I don’t like this guy or anyone else like him. If you pass on a potential match because they live too far away, for example, the computer is less likely to show you other people like him even if they’re exactly the sort of people you’re looking for.
I bought a 3-month subscription to chemistry.com, and after the first week, I was given no matches for almost 3 months. Then, just as my subscription was about to expire, I started getting a bunch of new matches. The timing is suspicious, to say the least.
I’m a lot happier with OKCupid.com. I’ve only been using it for a week and a half, and I’ve already had more success than I’ve had with Match.com and Chemistry.com in the past six months. I guess when they’re not trying to bleed you for money, they can afford to actually make a site infrastructure that encourages successful matches.
Alan, I agree with you on the frustrations about non-paying members. I can, however, get why they use the “You have 3 emails, but you have to pay to read them” tactic. I, for one, have fallen for it several times. I was just going to go on to see who was there and the next day I’d have 3 emails in my box… and curiosity would get the better of me.
Ditto to Alan’s complaints about Match.com. Enticing paying members by showing them people that probably won’t fork over the money to read a message is a bit shady in my book. But that’s not the main reason I quit.
Match.com seems to be targeted at an older (not old, just older than me, so please don’t take offense) segment of the population, which leaves younger people with very few options. While there were a few people my own age or thereabouts (I’m 22), the bulk of the user population begins at age 27 and from every profile I searched, none of them were looking to date younger guys.
@R - The age range will vary depending on the city, but yes, I think on the whole, their clientele is generally 25+ (the age where most people have at least some fun money).
Well, Online dating can be somewhat fun, but its seriously hit or miss. And I wiff more than grand slam. Also I never really cared to setup a profile on dating sites. 95% of messages I received when joining one date sight that looked ok were pornographic advertisements for web cam sites. I don’t much care for that. Hell, most of the messages I get on ‘MySpace’ Are Porn too. That’s probably the biggest reason for me to just quit the whole ‘Internet Dating’ scene.
As well I find it a lot easier to just meet people during your own time when your doing the things you enjoy. I myself am an avid Online Role Player, not talking about MMORPGS, but just finding people online and Role Playing, complete systemless fun. You meet a lot of great people that way. Unfortunately meeting people this way can lead to false ideas. As you tend to think you know more about them than you actually do. Same is true for any Online situation though.
Myself- I just gave up on the Online dating scene a few years back, but I still openly look for new friends all the time. And one such friend I met a long time ago Over an RP-based Web Chat site that I have long since forgotten the URL to, and I Have grown extremely fond of one another, and later on this year or early to mid next year. We plan on finally meeting up. (Several years in the making)
My myspace is in my “Website” link if anyone cares.
Anyway have a good one peoples.
Asmor, I’m curious why you’re opening your relationship, (and what do you mean by playing) if you’re already with the woman of your dreams? Why face the frustrations of dating sites at all?
@ Vader - Some folks just live that lifestyle. There are actually dating sites for just those kinds of relationships, too.
Vader, Open relationships are actually quite common these days, and a lot of those dating sites have open couples looking for others. Just a different Lifestyle.
I’m still bemused that I broke e-harmony’s matching algorithm… back a few years when I was looking at hese things I tried to sign up for them, spent the inordinately long amount of time filling out their survey only to be told “Congratulations, you’re part of the tiny percentage of people that we can not help! Sorry, go away.” Okay, I don’t think the message was that blatantly rude but same gist.
justaguys last blog post..Gamelog, Session 5
@ justaguy - that happens to more people than you might think. That’s why I’m not too big on matching services like eharmony. There’s more to love than an algorithm. ;p
I hate dating in general. Online dating has translated into rejection on a scale of mass production. I can send out a dozen intro e-mails (because no one ever writes to me) and get nothing back. So, all I have to show for it is a bill from match.com and the profiles of a bunch of people that I think would be a perfect match for me and I for them. After a while, that level of frustration and humiliation just gets too much and I have to give up.