Moradin’s Lass… is Dead.

We wake up in our camp in the hallway.  I’d just like to say that a bedroll is not so comfortable and the stench of mushrooms in this place is pretty bad.  Oh well.

The door at the end of the hall opens into a room with glowing blue crystals and runes on the floor.  We tiptoe in, weapons drawn.  We don’t feel like being attacked again.  The crystals seem to have drawings in them – pretty cool! – but we can’t make out what they are, really.

All of the sudden – whoa!! – the floor starts to sink slowly.  What is going on?

Down we go!  I guess this is an elevator shaft or something.  I’d just like to say that it’s pretty spiffy.  But scary.  So um, we don’t know where we’re going or which side the door will be on when we get wherever we’re going.  We put our backs to each other in the center of the room and face the walls, ready for anything.

The crystals don’t seem to move as we’re going down, but we notice the pictures in them are changing and are telling us a pretty gross story about gnome villages being destroyed by orcs, dragons, all sorts of things.  The boys are starting to look scared, but I’m not.  I’m checking out these cool pictures.

A door appears on one side of the room and four of the blue giggling monsters are there.  My sparkles fail me yet again and one of the monsters hits me.  Ow!

The halfling and the big bad dragonborn are hiding in the corner like wimps, leaving us to fend for ourselves.  Thanks guys.  Thanks.

Mr. Live-By-Sword is holding his own, taking one giggler down quickly.  My sparkles fail AGAIN.  What gives, Moradin??!?!  I thought I had a destiny!  Why are my sparkles more like fizzles?  Just then, a blue thing misses me completely.  Okay, maybe Moradin still loves me.

Drash stands up and starts to fight, which is a good thing because Live-By-Sword is on the floor bleeding.  Ew.  Helion is firing off arrows left and right and takes another one down while I heal Mr. Sword as best I can.  He’s still really gross, but I’m trying not to think about that.   The gods have a cruel sense of humor because I was immediately given a reason to not think about Fin’s blood – my own.  Ow!!

Erichh finally comes out of the corner and starts to help us and we manage to take down the last of the blue gigglers and heal up.  I am not liking these monsters.  Not one bit.

We move into the next room, which has a violet tinge to it.  There are harvested mushrooms all over the floor and the air is thick with smoke even tho we can’t see a fire anywhere.  Helion goes into the room first.  It’s not very bright in there, so Drash cracks a sunrod.

More blue guys jump out of the piles of mushrooms.  Like SIX of them jump us.  Before I know it, I’m woozy and on the ground.  I feel the warmth of my blood as it oozes from my wounds.  I hear the sounds of battle around me – the giggles of the monsters, the crackle of Fin’s fire magic, the cute grunting noises Drash makes while swinging his weapon, the woosh of Helion’s arrow as it leaves his bow, the pitterpatter of giant halfling feet as Erichh jockeys for position, the thumping of my heart sounding loud like it’s between my ears.  Ugh.  This is not the way someone with a destiny is supposed to go!

But maybe… maybe I don’t have a destiny.

Maybe my parents just made the whole story up to get me out of the house.  Scenes from my life are flashing before my eyes – the time I used salad dressing for hair product, the time I locked my baby brother  in a cage and sold him to a gnome at the market for a gold piece, all the times I ate the last of the food without telling anyone… and then there was the goat.  Nobody will ever let me forget that.

I was a pretty annoying kid.   Maybe I’m still annoying, I dunno.  But would they really make up a story about MORADIN to get me out of the house?  That’s pretty drastic.  I mean, I’d just like to think my parents are better people than that, y’know?   It’s just… ow… maybe… maybe they wanted me to be a better person.  Or something.

I feel a blast of fire hit me and then all goes black.

I hear a deep voice calling my name…  “Mielka… come to the light of the forge, child…

I’m coming, Moradin… I’m coming!

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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