Don’t Drink and Date – Okay, but don’t drink MUCH.
Your profile is working for you. You contacted some women and one lucky prospect has earned herself a date with you. Assuming you don’t go for an atypical date idea, you’re probably heading out for dinner.
There are many who enjoy a fine adult beverage with our meals. Some of us enjoy them before the meal, during the meal, after the meal, during dessert, after dessert…
But as we know, all things are best done in moderation, so here are a few good reasons to pass on the booze when you’re on those first couple dates.
You’ll want to be 100% there mentally
Even a small buzz can alter your perception of events. You may pick up vibes that she’s not really giving off, or miss on cues she’s blatantly waving in your face. Either way, it’s no good for you or your date.
Say no to peer pressure
For some people, it is awkward to not drink if someone else is drinking. Do you want to start off a date on an awkward moment? Probably not.
Some folks have a history
Drinking can be a touchy subject with certain people. Most folks have a nonchalant attitude. If you want to drink, go ahead and drink. However, there are others who have a bad history with alcohol – alcoholic family members, a personal history of alcoholism, or a bad situation they got into after drinking too much.
“Seriously? This is starting to sound like a PSA, e.”
I’m not saying you should never drink on a date. There are girls who will reach for the drink menu as soon as they sit at the table. If you find such a lady, you can feel free to imbibe.
If you’re on a third or fourth date and want to do a wine or beer tasting, knock yourselves out! Have fun!
Just be sure to give some thought as to your reasons for drinking. As always, be sure to have a safe way to travel home. Friends don’t let friends drive drunk.
E. Foley is a geek girl extraordinaire. She writes amazing online dating profiles for geeks and non-geeks, helping clients all over the world find love. Her writing can be found at Examiner.com, Dating Sites Reviews, and elsewhere as a ghostwriter. By day, she is the Copywriter at ThinkGeek. She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame and her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut and Don Juan. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)
If you are even considering ordering an adult beverage, let her order first and take that cue. If she orders a beer, then you’re okay to order one as well, but if she opts for something non-alcoholic then do likewise.
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@ Oz – It’s a good rule of thumb.
All good reasons, but after reading this I’m probably *more* likely to order a beer or two on a first date, if only to see how the girl handles alcohol early on.
If she’s going to be telling me a bunch of crazy party stories and slamming down tequila shots in between pitchers of beer, well … I’d like to see that red flag early on, you know?
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@ Jo – I think that if she’s that kind of girl, she’ll launch into those stories regardless.
Unless she’s reading the advice on your website as well, and hiding her normal way of doing things in hopes she can reveal the true ‘her’ after the man has fallen in love.
I don’t understand this dance of mutual deception, wherein you advise people to edit themselves in a profile so as to appear more attractive to prospective dates. That path only leads to false expectations. There are plenty of women out there who are comfortable with the ubergeek man. I happen to be one of them, and the man I met on OkCupid didn’t edit his profile to make himself more date friendly.
The inherent problem is that you’re telling men to change themselves for the women they’re trying to meet, without acknowledging that the woman who will reject a man for his interests is probably not the ideal mate for said man.
Are the men following your advice being true to themselves, or are they forgetting that they aren’t the cookie cutter man, and should be looking for a woman who respects, loves, and eagerly embraces their differences?
@ Greyface – I’ll address this in a full post.
It’ll post just after midnight EST.
OK, so I went out drinking and dancing and weaseled my way into a group of 6 women (various ages) and “settled” on dancing and joking with 2 in particular. I drank too much (like, crazy “I dare you.” too much) and HEADBUTTED LAURA IN THE FACE.
Lesson learned? Hardly – I got their numbers.
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