Finding Your Match on Part 3, The Realistic Search

In Part One of this series, you learned why the three major searches promoted by are in essence pretty useless.  In Part Two, you set up your Dream Girl Search.  You could open it up to the whole country or stick local.  It’s up to you.

Now, let’s back up to something a bit more realistic.   Your Dream Girl Search will probably come up with very few results (at least locally), so you need a realistic search that will be your core search.

It’s about dealbreakers… here we go…

Step One:  Click Search, Scroll Down

Scroll down until you see the following box:

Click “Edit your saved searches.”   You’ll see the following screen:

Well, not EXACTLY that screen.  Here’s a peek into my life, folks.   Some of these saved searches were mine, some are for the biz.   (Yes, I did have a redheads search.  I’d be ashamed, but I am aware I have a problem and have accepted it!)

Find your Dream Girl Search and click Edit.

Step Two:  Whittle Her Down

In your Dream Girl Search, you made the perfect woman.   However, I’m sure there are things that are not total dealbreakers.   Let’s find those and decide what a great, realistic match would be.


  • Height is a negotiable for most folks!  You may love shorties, but your dream girl may be a basketball player…
  • Body type can wiggle a bit in either direction, too.  Remember, most girls don’t accurately describe themselves.  We’re either too lenient or too harsh.
  • Marital Status – maybe your perfect person is Never Married, but you’d consider someone who is Divorced or Widowed.
  • Uncheck the turn-on/turn-offs.
  • Unless you have a serious barf moment over certain colored eyes or hair, check “Any”.


  • If exercise is very important to you, leave it as is.  Otherwise, consider wiggle room.
  • Same for her daily diet.
  • If you’d consider a smoker (particularly if they were serious about quitting), or a different style of drinker, tweak these.
  • Unless you have major beefs with certain careers, check “Any.”
  • Income is a touchy subject.  If you demand a woman who has a decent income, check accordingly.
  • Living arrangements can be interesting – maybe you say “I don’t want a woman who lives with her parents.”  But what if she lives with her parents as their caretaker?
  • Kids and pets can be dealbreakers for some people but not for others.   For example, if she had a child that lives full time with his father, would that be okay?


  • What races would you consider dating?
  • Sure, you’re Presbyterian.  Would you consider dating a Catholic?
  • School of life?  Grad School?  Does it matter that much?
  • Languages can go back to “Any.”  (If they’re on, they speak enough English!)
  • Would you consider someone with different political beliefs?

Step Three: About Location

Consider how far you’d be willing to drive to be with someone you’d be dating.  Remember, you’d want to see this person a lot if things were going well!

Step Four:  Don’t Forget To Save

The most important thing is to save this search so you can go back and use it later.

You can select to have email you if a match to this search comes up.  That’s up to you.

In the next post…

Keyword searches… worth it?  Maybe.

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

Speak Your Mind