Match.com Mysteries: Why Do The Ladies Ask You To Email Them And Then Not Respond?
I see you, Reader.
I see what you Google to get here. That’s right, I’ve been watching you while you’ve been Googling. Tsk Tsk.
It’s okay! Everyone Googles.
Here’s a search string that made me want to reach out and write a post: “Why do girls ask you to email them and then not write back?”
I’ll tell you why…
Good Profile Ending
“Email me!” seems like a good way to end a dating profile. She just didn’t want YOU to email her. Other people, sure. Just not you. Sorry.
Good “Get Off the Hook” Ending of an IM Conversation
Maybe you’ve moved into the IM stages of communication with a potential match. She pulls the “I gotta go, email me!” card. Sometimes, she means it. Sometimes, that’s just what she says to get you off the line so she can ignore you, log off, and then delete your emails.
Less Jaded Reasons
Here are some perfectly valid and non-jaded reasons why she might not be responding to your email:
- She’s on vacation.
- Her computer isn’t working.
- Her internet is down.
- She doesn’t have a paid subscription.
- Her subscription ran out and she hasn’t renewed yet.
- She’s dating someone else but doesn’t want to say no to you just yet. Silence is more comfortable than explaining that you’re her back burner option and risking offending you.
- She just doesn’t check her email as often as you do.
Moral of the Story
Don’t wait. Don’t sit by the computer hitting refresh and hoping something new shows up. Keep searching, keep emailing other women. Cast your net wide, meet some new friends, and when the time is right, your geek girl will be there waiting for you.
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Oh! Oh! I feel a rant coming!
Nope sorry.. That’s bull crap… On match.com all a woman has to do is click on the ‘not interested’ button… Match makes it real, real easy for you to discreetly turn down somebody online… And no woman uses it… Nobody… These intelligent women with Bachelor’s Degrees don’t know how to use a mouse properly?? All you do is point and click. Hell I’ve used the not interested option when I’ve been winked at, why can’t women learn to do the same, especially when they’re emailed? Cowardice, pure and simple.
Ok rant over… Thanks for the endgame.. Which is: Keep searching. Keep emailing, even if many women don’t know how to use a mouse… Eventually, a few guys out there will find a woman that does. : P
@ Green - I totally agree with your rant. I always gave people the courtesy of a “Thanks but no thanks” if I wasn’t interested because I wanted them to do the same for me.
(Sadly, I had many, many emails never receive replies. The boys do it, too. Not as often, but it happens.)
Bleh. Match.com is an outright loser for guys I think. Most of the girls tend to be shallow and don’t respond. Heck, I don’t think a great deal of them even view profiles.
I’m going to have to disagree with you here E, some of us are not picky here at all (me) I think I’ve emailed about half the female population on match.com with no response. (I just set height and age and leave the rest on Any)
Yet on OKCupid I’ve had…5 dates and maybe 30 responses within a month.
I’m positively stumped as to why this is. There are also far more geek girls on OKC than Match.com
@ Messerole - For some folks, match.com just doesn’t work. I’ll admit that. It depends on where you live and who you’re looking for and sometimes match just doesn’t have those matches.
I do have a curiosity question - what are your introduction emails like?
@E: Men are schmucks… Granted. Especially if they don’t use the ‘not interested’ option.. Actually, I would go so far as to call them bastards.
As for the women…. GRRRRRRRRRRR! Apparently, the sophistication and civility has been lost in the 21st century here in upstate NY regarding the female species.
Here’s one of my more inspired ones: I believe the girl in question “Was looking for someone with determination but not too full of themselves”…something something something. The profiles in Match.com on my opinion reveal about as much as zero regarding a person.
>>>>
Hey there. I admire someone with determination and adventurousness. Oh, and you’re pretty too. Anyway, I’d be interested in hanging out and watching chickflicks. (Yeah, I have a real bad habit of liking romantic comedies)
As for me, I am a diehard nerdbot, currently working as a programmer in Midtown. I’m 22 and recently graduated from NYU. In my spare time I like to go hiking, climb mountains and fight dragons.
>>>>
I’m not sure what the deal is. It could be my age, the crowd on Match.com tends to be more like 26-up. My profile on Match.com and OKC is generally the same, and I use the same approach for both sites. But it seems like people on OKC are more open to actually talking and meeting, whereas I haven’t heard insomuch as a peep from Match.commers.