As I was driving home, I was feeling guilty for not having a post ready for today. Then, the gods provided me with one.
How convenient!
Guys, I’d like to give you a real life example of how NOT to flirt with a woman. Here we go, an actual example of…
YOU FAIL:
Flirting With Strangers
I pull into my apartment complex and drive back towards my building and my usual parking spot only to find that a giant 18 wheeler moving truck is blocking the way. I stop, peer around and realize that there’s furniture all strewn around the ground next to the truck, so I wasn’t going to be able to go around it.
Oh well.
I park in the spot nearest me, figuring it won’t hurt me to walk 100 extra feet. I shut off the car, collect up my things, and start walking towards the building. Passing by the truck, this conversation happens with the moving man sitting in the passenger seat. (Said man was in his 50′s, tattooed, and unkempt. I am in my 20s, dressed business casual.)
Man: Sorry we’re blocking your way!
Me: No biggie. I can walk.
Man: You sure you don’t want to smack us?
Me: I’m sure.
Man: You can smack us if you want.
Me: I’m all good, thanks.
The man explains how the people who hired them live “up there” (pointing to the third floor on the other side of the building), but their assigned garage was over here. Isn’t that crazy? Either way, they’re sorry to be blocking the way.
Me: Yeah, it’s okay. When I moved up with my Penske, I blocked that exit there when I moved in. (points to exit)
Man: You should have hired experts like us!
Me: I can’t afford experts like you. I’m a teacher. Seeya… (walking away)
Man: I would have helped you. Then I would take you to Red Lobster. And a nice back massage…
WHY FAIL?
Creeptastic!! Seriously.
#1 – Too old.
#2 – You’re on the clock, buddy.
#3 – You don’t tell total strangers that you want to give them a back massage.
Blarg. I feel like I should go take a shower to wash the yuck off me.
About e
LOL. Red Lobster and a massage…from a stranger. Classy.
Kristin´s last blog post..“Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye”
@ Kristin – Totally. When your idea of a classy dinner is a Darden restaurant… hmmm…
Maybe he choose Red Lobster because their cheesey biscuits match his personality?
Darius Whiteplume´s last blog post..Blog of Note: Demons & Dragons
@ Darius – Sounds about right!
You should have told him you were going to go play D&D.
He would have found that sexy and upped the invite to a classier joint, like the buffet at Perkin’s or Bob Evans.
You missed out girlie.
newbiedm´s last blog post..Sharing a DDI subscription
Clear sign that someone is compensating: 18 wheeler in background while flirting.
See also: Cloud’s Buster Sword.
Sharky´s last blog post..Writer’s Block: Secret Crush
Aw… MAN! I can’t believe he didn’t invite you to the Waffle House! LOL. Could he have screamed I’m a creepaziod any louder?? Shivers…
*twitch*
yikes….
you handled that incredibly well though I’d say! ….any chance of an article on how to disentangle oneself from creepy overtures for geek girls?
(perhaps also with some pointers on how to tell if they’re truly creepy or just shy & socially awkward?) 
So you’re saying we should offer a head massage instead and get a truck longer than 18-wheels to truly impress? Noted!