As I was driving home, I was feeling guilty for not having a post ready for today. Then, the gods provided me with one.
Guys, I’d like to give you a real life example of how NOT to flirt with a woman. Here we go, an actual example of…
Flirting With Strangers
I pull into my apartment complex and drive back towards my building and my usual parking spot only to find that a giant 18 wheeler moving truck is blocking the way. I stop, peer around and realize that there’s furniture all strewn around the ground next to the truck, so I wasn’t going to be able to go around it.
I park in the spot nearest me, figuring it won’t hurt me to walk 100 extra feet. I shut off the car, collect up my things, and start walking towards the building. Passing by the truck, this conversation happens with the moving man sitting in the passenger seat. (Said man was in his 50′s, tattooed, and unkempt. I am in my 20s, dressed business casual.)
Man: Sorry we’re blocking your way!
Me: No biggie. I can walk.
Man: You sure you don’t want to smack us?
Me: I’m sure.
Man: You can smack us if you want.
Me: I’m all good, thanks.
The man explains how the people who hired them live “up there” (pointing to the third floor on the other side of the building), but their assigned garage was over here. Isn’t that crazy? Either way, they’re sorry to be blocking the way.
Me: Yeah, it’s okay. When I moved up with my Penske, I blocked that exit there when I moved in. (points to exit)
Man: You should have hired experts like us!
Me: I can’t afford experts like you. I’m a teacher. Seeya… (walking away)
Man: I would have helped you. Then I would take you to Red Lobster. And a nice back massage…
#1 – Too old.
#2 – You’re on the clock, buddy.
#3 – You don’t tell total strangers that you want to give them a back massage.
Blarg. I feel like I should go take a shower to wash the yuck off me.