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Hammer’s profile has some great information, but could use some polishing to make it really shine for that dream girl. Hammer’s profile is in black; my comments are in orange. Let’s dig deeper…
Headline:
Looking Forward To The Winter Snow
This is a great example of keeping your profile fresh and updated with the current season!
About Me and Who I’m Looking For
I’m a final year student, studying politics, and no I don’t have my eye on political office 
That doesn’t mean I’m lacking ambition though: I’m planning on doing a Masters degree next year.
I’m a studious guy, but I like to take things easy as well, and enjoy relaxing with a good book, a videogame or a DVD. I also dabble with photography – mostly buildings and landscapes- and cookery.
This paragraph makes me a little dizzy. There’s good information here, but it’s a little spastic in presentation.
I’m looking for that special someone that is rather unique.
We are all individuals! Sorry, the word “unique” just strikes a weird chord with me.
I like people who don’t just go along with the crowd and have an independent mind. Someone who can challenge me on all sorts of issues and beliefs.
Lovely sentiments, but the second “sentence” isn’t a sentence. Don’t worry – I’ll fix it!
An interest in politics would be awesome, as long as we can agree to disagree on some things.
An interest in gaming, (video and good old fashioned pen and paper RPGs) would be pretty cool as well. Most games more fun with two after all.
The parallel structure here is only made worse by the paragraph break. Eek!
for fun:
I spend a lot of time reading, and I’m currently trying to improve my film knowledge after three years of hardly watching any movies at all. I enjoy video games and RPGs, but I don’t have as much time for them as I would like these days.
Since RPGs are mentioned in your main profile text, leave them out here. No need to repeat yourself.
my job:
I’m a full time student, studying politics. Hopefully going on to do a Masters degree next
The period… it’s missing! Oh no! Oh wait, it’s not a sentence either!
my education:
I’m in the last months of my MA at Glasgow Uni.
Enjoyed it so much that I’m planning on doing a Masters degree in politics next year.
Another non-sentence! All these non-sentences make your profile hard to read. There’s no natural flow to the words.
favorite hot spots:
One of the advantages of Glasgow is the number of nice bars and cafes there. I’m a fan of the traditional pubs, especially ones with real ale. I’m equally at home in a cocktail bar though.
Enlighten me. What’s “real” ale and how does it differ from “fake” ale?
last read:
Last book I finished reading was Ben Elton’s “Blind Faith”. It was ok, but not as good as his earlier novels.
I’m currently reading the Alastair Campbell Diaries and Philip K. Dick’s “The Simularca”.
Be sure that if you fill in this section, it is totally up-to-date.
Stay tuned for Hammer’s new profile! Want a Profile Makeover of your own? Click here to learn more.
About e
I really hadn’t realised how half-arsed the sentence structure made it sound until it was pointed out. The repetition of ‘student’ three different times doesn’t really help matters.
Real Ale is a name for a variety of traditionally brewed beer. It’s quite popular in the UK, but only sold by some bars because the equipment used to serve it is (thought to be) more complicated then that needed for lager and ‘heavy’.
When you see jokes in Family Guy and the Simpsons about warm British beer, this is what they are talking about.
Simulacra is misspelled as well.
Propagandroid´s last blog post..Allan Grohe reviews Castle Zagyg: Upper Works
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Woops. Don’t even have an excuse for that, since I went and got my copy of the book specifically to check the spelling.
Fixed it now though
If you’ve ever had a look at my blog, you’ll see that spelling isn’t my strong suit unfortunately.
Hammer´s last blog post..Thoughts on a Doctor Who Setting
You don’t actually need much equipment at all for real ale – in fact less than keg if you want to be basic. Most important is a caring landlord/landlady/manager.
For an explanation on real ale go to:
http://www.realalenet.co.uk/pages/whatis.html
Paul Garrard´s last blog post..Local loco?
How much harder is ale to make than beer? I have a friend that brews her own beer and she would be interested.
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There are essentially only two types of beer (obviously it is not quite as simple as that) one uses lager yeast and ferments from the bottom in colder temperatures and one that uses ale yeast which ferments at the top in slightly more warmer climes. Lager should be stored for 3 months+.
The difference between real ale and keg (most ‘Euro-fizz lagers are keg) is that real ale is a live product with natural fermentation, like Champagne, and keg is dead/pasteurised beer with CO2 and or Nitrogen gas added to give it the appearance of life. Real ale can be dispensed by gravity – i.e. a tap in a cask, although hand pumps are often employed. Keg requires gas bottles, tubes and goodness knows what else. Keg normally has very little flavour which is why it’s served too cold.
Paul Garrard´s last blog post..Local loco?