The Pros and Cons of Talking Money In Online Dating Profiles

Written by e  
December 18, 2008
1 Comment

I recently had a client ask me why his profile seemed to be attracting the wrong people – “party girls” to be specific.

He was not a “party guy” – he had a steady job and a list of hobbies ranging from intellectual pursuits to outdoorsy activities.  Where were these party girls coming from and why were they targeting him?

After heading to check out his profile, I had my answer in 5 seconds flat.

While filling out the numerous checks and pull-down menus of his profile, my client selected his income – $150k+

See where I’m going?  Even though he was honest about his income, it was attracting the type of girls who specifically search for and target men of that income level.

We’ve all heard of gold diggers.   Sadly, they are out there and when they make their dream date search, you can bet they’re checking off the top income tiers!

The Pros of Listing Your Income

• You can prove you have a job.
• You can prove you have a career.  (Different than just a job!)
• If you’re looking to attract someone with your money (and hey, to each his own!), that’s the place to do it.
• If she lists her income too, you can gauge whether you’re in the same place financially…or at the very least which one of you should pay for the first date!

The Cons of Listing Your Income

• If you’re in school and not making much, it can make you look poorer than you really are (since you are investing in your education!).
• If you’re between jobs, you have to choose between lying and leaving your old job’s income or leaving the field blank.
• If you are on the wealthier end of the spectrum, you risk attracting the gold digger type.

It’s Your Call, But Here’s My Advice

If you are on the extreme ends of the income spectrum (high or low!), leave the field blank.

This gives you the flexibility to discuss your financial situation when the need arises, rather than being judged by it up front.   You risk being left out of custom searches, but you’ll get better quality results from the matches with whom you do communicate.

Happy Dating, Geek Friends!