MSL: Demonweb (Dungeons & Dragons Miniatures)

Welcome to another edition of Minis Seeking Love, where we get a glimpse into the love lives of Dungeons & Dragons miniatures.

Today’s eligible singles hail from the newest set, Demonweb.    Remember folks, Demonweb is the end of an era.  Starting this year, Wizards of the Coast is moving to a new system for distributing miniatures.

Minis Seeking Love will be rolling with the changes!  I have four sets after this one to write up and will continue to write about the new minis when they arrive.  I’m especially looking forward to the sets with more females!

Level 14 Curse Slaad
Seeking female slaadi, any level

I’ve heard rumors that there’s some guy out there using my name and abusing females of all races.  Rest assured, that is NOT ME!  Sure, I may be full of curses and chaos, but when I come home, I hang that up with my hat and want nothing more than spending time with you, croaking about our day and then doing things that you can only do with +17 to Athletics.  But only with you, baby!  Only with you.  I love you.

Level 1 Spiretop Drake
seeking female drakes, level 1-2 or
dragon champions of high level

Up here.  Yeah, look up.   Wai up on this cliff.  See, I wuz hanging wif my warband.  Then r Dragon Champion wuz killd (omg!1!!1! wuz awful).  Now I fraid to come down.  I plannin to stai heer til a new Dragon Champion comes.    Not much to eet heer.   Found sum bugs.  Yesterday wuz lucky and burd floo in my mouth.  Todai, not so lucky.  Come soon.  Bring fud.  Or Dragon Champion!

Level 5 Runespiral Demon
seeking small demons, all levels

I’m little, super fast, evil, demony. Lite-ning is not scary cuz I am fast like lite-ning. Oh, and can make lite-ning bolt arc like BOOM! Yes yes. Oooh, yes. I like all other evil demons – so let’s make a Meetup group and get toogether for evil stuff. My place or yours?

Level 2 Sharn Redcloak
seeking elven females, any level

I have a thing for elves.   When I was a young boy, I was out in the woods and I saw an elven archer take down an orc with a shot straight between the eyes.  It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen and ever since then I wanted to 1) shoot longbow and 2) marry an elven woman.  My mother said, “You’ll put your eye out with that thing!” but I didn’t care.  I hear you all are beautiful even when you’re over 100 years old, so as long as you are female and an elf, please contact me.  You can boss me around!  I won’t even care because I’ll be basking in your elven awesomeness.  Mmmmm… elves.

Level 2 Guard Drake
seeking master, any level or race

Grepo Shanks, drake dealer, here.  I always say, “Nothing says ‘security’ like a 4-foot lizard that won’t run away when it’s hurt.”   You may be on this site looking for love, but have you considered your personal safety?  Wouldn’t you feel better about being out in the Wild if you had a Guard Drake as your loyal guardian?   He’s four feet of pure brute – immune to fear and with a bite that’ll make your enemies think twice about getting near you.   Contact me now before my profile gets pulled for violating the Terms of Service.

Level 3 Hobgoblin Warcaster
seeking hobgoblin males, level 1-3

One of the BEST things about being a warcaster is the AMAZING colors we can wear.  I mean, gosh, it’s just great.  I have this FIRE RED outfit that I am lovin’!  I mean, it is hot hot HOT.  If you want the boi on your arm to be the kind of CANDY that everyone at The Crossed Swords envies, then you want ME in my red outfit.  Did I mention I can Force Dart, Slide, Lure AND Pulse?  And not to mention the magic I can do…

Level 7 Tiefling Cleric of Asmodeus
seeking male worshippers of Asmodeus, any level

Ain’t no party like the parties in the Nine Hells! Power, tyranny, domination – we have it all with Asmodeus! There is nothing sexier than a man who glows with the pure power of the Dark Lord. Let’s kill some of those Care Bear do-Gooders – I get tingly just thinking about it!! Don’t email me if you worship any other god – they all suck compared to Asmodeus, and if you worship Pelor – YOU WILL NOT CONVERT ME SO STOP TRYING!!! Evil men only – y’all are sexy.

Level 10 Phaseweb Spider
seeking male spiders, any level

My web is beautiful… so shiny and perfect in every strand.  You’d be proud to be associated with a female of my skills.  Let me shift your reality, my sweet one.  We’ll make thousands and thousands of children and weave our web all over the world.  Maybe find a nice place in the Underdark with some kind drow to watch over us.   What do you say?  Sounds nice, doesn’t it?

Come back soon for another Minis Seeking Love!

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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