Are You Commanding Women To Do Your Bidding?

You should tell women reading your profile what to do.  If you’re not telling them what to do, you’re losing them.

Women WANT YOU to tell them what to do.

What?  Is a woman really telling you that women want to be bossed around?


It’s About Marketing

Think about the last sales pitch you heard or read that made you buy (or seriously consider buying).  What forced you into action?  What made you add the item to your shopping cart?

I was just watching QVC and Cesar Millan (The Dog Whisperer) was on promoting his products.  I don’t even have a dog, but I wanted to watch because I love Cesar.

The host introduced Cesar’s Natural Odor and Stain Remover spray.  She talked about the problems puppy owners have with housebreaking.

Yawn.  Didn’t apply to me.

Then she said it, “And this just isn’t for dog owners, this gets rid of the smell of cat pee too If you have cats, you need this product.  I’ve tried all the products out there and this one really works. Pick this up today – oh! we’re already selling out! – you will be amazed at the results.


Not only did it now apply to me, her testimonial combined with the call to action (and scarcity of the product!) made me click over to and buy some.

Now imagine a sales pitch similar to what most men write on their dating profiles:

This product gets out smells from dog urine.  Cesar Millan puts his face on the bottle, so he says it’s effective.  It’s a spray that you spray on the dog pee and the enzymes eat the pee so you don’t smell it anymore.  It’s pretty good stuff and you will probably like it.  If you’re interested, go to our website and buy it.  If not, have a nice day.

Gosh, I got bored *writing* that!

Would you buy the product with that sales pitch?  I wouldn’t.

Asking vs. Commanding In Your Profile

Your profile is your sales pitch!

Is your profile saying:

Buy me!


If you’re interested…“?

As consumers (and yes, online daters are consumers!), we want to be told what to do.  We want to be nudged into action.

Women especially are going to need an extra nudge to go beyond their comfort zone and send an initial email.   We all know that!  Men are always complaining, “I never get emails!  I always have to be the first to email!

Imagine how much more POWERFUL your profile would be if instead of ASKING women to email you, you TOLD them to email you!

But E, isn’t that… mean? cocky? bossy?

It’s All In How You Spin It

I went through all of my BEFORE profiles from the Personal Ad Makeover contest.    Did you know that NONE of them had ANY call to action?

A girl reads through your profile and ends thinking, “Okay, now what?

You’ve given her NO DIRECTION!

How much better would it be if you ended with something like this?

  • “Email me and let’s discuss our favorite pizza toppings.”
  • “Skip the wink and send me an email, even if it’s only to tell me your favorite mixed drink – mine is the mojito.”
  • “Email me and I promise I will write you back.  I always email everyone who takes the time to write me.”
  • “I’m new to town and searching for good restaurants.  Email me with your favorites and save me from culinary boredom!”
  • “Have you seen Benjamin Button yet?  I have some pretty interesting ideas about it – email me and I’ll share!”

Each of these presents a call to action – a command – “email me“.   Not only that, it gives her an idea on WHAT to email you about, which alleviates her anxiety about the first email.

You have commanded her and she will like it!

Fix Your Profile!

Check your profile.  (Go on, check!)

Are you giving a command or call to action at the end of the main body?

No? Why not?  Put one in now so the ladies know what to do and aren’t afraid to do it!

Yes? Is it a command or a suggestion?  Yoink the “please” or the “if you’re interested“.  Assume she IS interested and just needs a nudge in the right direction.

Not sure how to make your profile irresistible and click-worthy?  Geek’s Dream Girl has the experience and skills to make your profile sizzle!  

Get your profile fixed today!

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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