In my Finding Your Match on Match.com Series, I wrote about the importance of having a dreamgirl search.
This post will delve into the details of a dreamgirl search:
- Why you NEED to have one.
- What kind of results to expect.
- What to write in that crucial first contact email and why romance should be the FURTHEST thing from your mind.
Setting Up the Dreamgirl Search
In a dreamgirl search, you get VERY picky and design the perfect woman from scratch.
Now is NOT the time to feel bad about crushing anyone’s feelings. Lots of people claim, “I don’t have a type.” Close your eyes and imagine a woman that is perfect in every way. That’s your type. It’s okay. Nobody is going to know the details of your search but you.
Admit it – if you were to design a woman from scratch, there are features about her and her lifestyle that you’d be sure to include.
It doesn’t make you racist or size-ist or anti-(insert religion here). It’s just a fantasy and we roleplaying geeks can attest that a little fantasy never hurt anyone.
Check out the original Dreamgirl Search article for the details walking you through the creation of this VITAL search.
Why You Need A Dreamgirl Search
Do you get frustrated reading profile after profile after profile and being flat out UNINTERESTED in the girls you find?
Sure, they’re pretty and nice and smart… but… something’s missing.
Even if you never act on your dreamgirl search results because you’re uninterested in a long-distance relationship, isn’t it comforting to know that there are girls out there that fit EVERYTHING you could want?
Worst case scenario? You make a couple pen pals with similar interests and compatible personalities. Not too shabby.
Expect Results… But Not Tons
When you get REALLY specific about what you want, you will end up with significantly fewer results. My dreamboy search yielded me 6 results across the country.
If your search gives you ZERO results, be patient. Your dreamgirl may not have a profile yet.
Your other option is to widen a category or two. Find your most narrow requirement and stretch it a bit.
“But E, I’m Not Interested in a Long-Distance Relationship!”
It’s true – your dreamgirl may live in another state. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you will have a long-distance relationship. A friend of mine met her husband through a similar type search. It turned out, his job only required him to live near an airport. They dated long distance for a year and he moved to be with her!
My Geek Boy and I recently celebrated a year together. He’s working on finding a job in the Charlotte area (anyone need a Java developer?) and will soon be living here! It’s very exciting to think that a tiny chance I took on a “dreamboy” search would result in such a great relationship.
“What Do I Write Her?”
Obviously, most girls are not going to expect to hear from someone halfway across the country. In fact, her first thought might be, “Is this guy so desperate that he’s emailing every girl in the USA?”
The first contact email is so important for this type of match.
Here’s what I suggest:
Just for fun, I put together a search with all the qualifications at “dream girl” level and searched the country to see what I could find. I found you.
Now, I know you live in ____ and I’m here in ______, but I figure that if you match me on so many levels, we’d at least make great penpals.
(Insert your usual first email stuff here about her interests and things you’d like to talk to her about.)
Is the first paragraph a bit scary? It sure is! But the second paragraph tempers it perfectly. You’re not some weirdo stalker looking for someone who fits your serial killer victim profile. You’re a guy who knows what type of woman he gets along with and you’re cool with a relationship that’s as low-pressure as penpals.
Does This Actually Work?
It’s actually worked for me and my friend. I’m sure there are others out there with similar stories.
Think of it in terms of what you have to lose:
- Time creating a dreamgirl search
- Time emailing a few people
And what you could gain:
- Some awesome penpals from around the country.
- The love of your life!
Need help setting up your dreamgirl search? Geek’s Dream Girl offers help with custom searches to our Silver and Gold package clients! Get yours now!