MSL: Desert of Desolation (Dungeons & Dragons Miniatures)

Welcome to another edition of Minis Seeking Love at Geek’s Dream Girl.  Today’s eligible singles are from the Desert of Desolation set.

Remember, the older miniatures are going to be things of the past soon, so head to your Friendly Local Gaming store or and pick them up while they last!

I grabbed this box while on Thanksgiving break in my old hometown of Orlando – big props to the folks at Sci-Fi City for an awesome Black Friday sale!  Side note – if you’re in Orlando for a vacation or conference, you MUST go to Sci-Fi City to get your geek on.  I miss that store.

Anyway, on to our singles!

Level 4 Demonweb Swarm
seeking more spiders for our orgy!

Let’s get real, spiders of the world.  One on one monogamy is soooooo over.  Join our pile.  Life is better in a swarm.  Whose leg is that?  Who cares!   If it feels good, do it.

Level 5 Snaketongue Cultist
seeking female humans, level 1-5

Having a trackless step has benefits – nobody can follow me.  Being so close to nature has its benefits – I can meld into the woods and commune with its denizens.   Being a master of wild shape has benefits – I can be a dire badger or a wolf pup and sneak places that my human form would never allow me to be.  I’m looking for a woman who is at home in the woods, preferably a druid, but will consider others.   Find out why they call me Snaketongue.

Level 6 Blood of Vol Fanatic
seeking female devotees of Vol, all levels

From blood, power.  From power, domination. If those sentences stir you and make you fill with glee, you should email me.   There is nothing more thrilling than donning my cultist robes and heading out into the world to follow the Tenets of Vol as best I can.  I’m looking for a woman with similar goals in her life.

Do you have the unquenchable flame of life?

Want to touch my six pack?

Level 1 Farmer
seeking human females, level 1-3

I have finally scraped together enough money to have my own farm!  It isn’t much, a couple pigs, some cows, and some rows of corn and wheat, but it’s MY farm.   The only thing I need to complete it is a beautiful woman to help me work the fields and keep me warm at night.   I’m not sure what I’ll tell the pigs when they have to sleep in the barn, but I’m sure they’ll get over it.

Level 8 Cyclops
seeking cyclops females, level 1-8

It’s so funny to watch my enemies cower in fear as I charge perfectly and powerfully towards them and knock them down.  HaHAHA!  You will want a piece of me.  In fact, if I see you’ve looked at my profile and haven’t emailed me for love, I will track you down and make you love me.  That’s a promise.  So you’d better click that contact button.   Go on.  DO IT.  NOW.  It’ll be better for you if you make the first move.

Level 6 Spined Devil
seeking devil females, any level

You MUST see my torture chamber.  My playground, I call it.  At the moment, I only have a few playthings in it, but do I *ever* have the collection of torture implements.   Plenty of toys to use on our playmates and watch them squeal and shriek in fear and pain.    They need to be tortured, says my boss, so I get to torture them.  You want to help?  If any of them die in the process, we can dine on their flesh.  There’s nothing like biting into fresh meat.

Level 3 Ravenous Ghoul
seeking elven female, any level

This is going to seem really weird, but I’m out of options.  I’ve been a ghoul for 3 levels now and can’t get ANY loving.  You know why?  Everyone I touch is paralyzed.   Ghoul Touch seems cool when you’re in combat, but it’s the kiss of death for your love life (unless you like dead fish – I don’t!!).  I’ve done my research and it appears the only race that is immune to my paralysis is elf.   ELVEN WOMEN, HAVE MERCY ON ME! I’ll do anything to spend a night in your arms.  I don’t have much, but what little I have, I will give you for one night of bliss.   Please?

Level 9 Eternal Blade
seeking elven females, levels 12-30

I’m not the kind of lesbian that has mommy issues.  Let me get that right out, okay?  I just love older women.   I’m a fearsome warblade with mental skills that equal my martial skills.  The list of my skills is too long to mention, but let’s just say that you will always feel safe in my arms.   I’m looking for a woman who is comfortable in her skin and wants to see the world with me as I travel.   At the end of a tough day, I want someone who will help me out of my armor and into a warm bath.  Is that you?

Our singles thank you for taking the time to read their profiles and hope to be seeing you soon!

By the way, another reason to grab a few boxes of  Desert of Desolation?  It’s the set that has the Gelatinous Cube.   Your mini collection is not complete without one!

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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