Are You Working With The Undead? (Open Grave: D&D 4e Supplement)

Get Open Grave today!Every office has them. Coworkers who – for their own special reasons – make you want to go postal.

I just received my new copy of Open Grave.   It’s totally badass and a must-have for all DMs and any fan of the undead.  I’ll leave the hardcore reviewing for those better suited for that serious stuff.

When I ponder people rotten from the inside and hellbent on destruction, my thoughts immediately turn to horrible co-workers.

Let’s take a look at Open Grave through that lens!

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Abomination:  Rotvine Defiler (page 130)

The rotvine defiler has but one purpose: to ingest and spoil all that is living.  A profane vestige of a powerful immortal devoted to fertility, the rotvine defiler seeks to destroy that which it has lost – life.

Most jobs have someone who has been around the company way too long.  They used to love their job but have now grown so jaded that they drag around the office spreading their horrible energy.  Misery loves company, and they’d like nothing more than someone to share in their rotten work existence.

Brain in a Jar (page 140)

Anything that disturbs this brain’s private meditation antagonizes the creature.  However, the brain knows its physical weakness, so it enters combat only as a last resort.  The creature attempts to threaten, negotiate, or fool a foe before attacking.

The Brain in a Jar is the genius employee who came up with a great idea years ago.   Since then, nobody’s really sure what he’s done, if anything.  He sits in his corner office staring out the window all day.

Asking him exactly what he DOES for the company will result in a long tirade about just how horrible the company would be without him.  Don’t you REMEMBER his last great idea?  Exactly.  Just close the door on your way out.

Flesh Scamp (page 146)

These child-sized creatures appear to be animated piles of flesh that trundle like hideous, misshapen toddlers.  Flesh scamps hunt in packs.  They try to surround a target, forming a ring of hypnotic flesh that prevents their foe from moving.

The flesh scamps are the sexy college interns who absolutely worship the boss.  They dance around the office wearing what appears to be the new definition of “business casual”.    Someone needs to update HR that the three B’s (Breasts, Belly, Behind) are now part of the dress code.

They travel in packs around the office and while they’re definitely way too young for your taste, you can’t help but watch them as they are bent over, trying to to unjam the copier.

Ghost:  Poltergeist (page 150)

A poltergeist begins battle by finding a high perch from which to strike.  Poltergeists are cowardly ghosts.  A poltergeist retreats from an enemy if it becomes engaged in melee and flees from battle if it seems as though combat might lead to its destruction.

The poltergeist is the supervisor who prefers to deliver all bad news via email.  Sure, he could walk three cubes down and tell you to your face that your proposal sucks, but he’d rather leave a nasty dump in your Outlook inbox.  Gee, thanks.

Confronting him in person goes one of two ways – either you can’t find him or he mumbles a few words and makes an excuse for a hasty retreat.

Death Hound:  Rot Hound (page 158)

Death hounds are driven by predatory urges and an appetite for fresh flesh.  Rot hounds are cowardly creatures that dash from shadow to shadow, nipping at their foes.

Your boss has a dog who is “just precious” in her eyes.   Somehow she neglects to notice the fact that the pooch is chewing through network cables, biting the feet of anyone in black shoes, and squatting to relieve herself in the corner behind the water cooler.   We’ve saved a lot of money on our Poland Springs bill this year…

Lich (page 162)

Many creatures seek to escape death.  When such creatures are powerful and corrupt, they sometimes turn to rituals that can transform them into liches.   However, immortality comes with a price, and these creatures lose the remaining shreds of their humanity in the process.

Three words:  Top Sales Agent.   The lich has sold his soul to the company, knows the products inside and out, and knows just how to take advantage of every customer to procure a sale.  Sure, he brings in lots of money.  But he’s got this evil glow and you feel dirty just being near him.

Mummy (page 166)

Mummies guard sacred locations, which they sometimes watches over for hundreds of years.  Even after centuries, though, their deadliness does not abate.

The mummy in my office is in charge of copy paper.  She literally locks it up in a walk-in safe in her office.  If you want paper, you first have to battle through her litany of questions about the legitimacy of your paper use.  Then she compares your paper needs to the paper needs of similar people in the office.  Then, if you’re lucky, she unlocks the vault and will bestow ONE REAM upon you… just after you sign your life away on this line here.  Thanks.

Vampire Muse (page 190)

A vampire muse is willing to take some risks because it can rely on its indestructible quality.  A vampire muse begins combat by using beguiling eyes..  If it successfully dominates a foe, it spends its action point to use song of lovers parted, pushing away enemies while using the dominated creature to intercept any unaffected foes.

She’s dangerous.  Never have you seen a woman make a business suit look hotter than lingerie.  And when she leans over your desk, you’re toast.  Whatever she wants, you will do, even if it means putting your real work on hold.   Besides, when the job is done, she’ll hold your hand in both of hers, gaze directly into your eyes and say how wonderfully sweet you are.  It’s worth it.  It’s totally worth it.

Wrath of Nature:  Calvary Creekrotter (page 194)

Composed of mud, excrement, rotting vegetation, dead aquatic animals, and toxic liquids, a calvary creekrotter delivers vengeance upon anything it perceives as a threat to nature.

It’s really time someone cleaned out the fridge in the break room.

Really.

Don’t forget to pick up your copy of Open Grave from your Friendly Local Gaming Store or amazon.com!

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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