Welcome back for another edition of Minis Seeking Love. Today’s eligible singles are from the Deathknell set.
Deathknell is also the home of the original Beholder. You know you want it. I have a trio of beholders and love, love, love them.
Either way, today’s singles:
- Undying Soldier
- Bullywug Thug
- Orc Savage
- Vampire Spawn
- Renegade Warlock
- Celestial Dire Badger
Let’s check out their profiles!
Level 9 Couatl
Seeking female couatl, level 1-12
There’s a saying around these parts – using a feather is sexy. If you wanna be kinky, use the whole Couatl. You agree? I have to admit that we’re probably the sexiest creatures in the world – we’re beautifully colored, shiny, tall. Essentially the perfect race. Thing is, we’re pretty rare. Thus I have launched my own dating site – SaveTheCouatls.com. Let’s make sure all the couatls in the world are breeding so we can take over the world with our hot selves.
Level 4 Undying Soldier
seeking undead females, any level
I’ve been alone for a while. My last girlfriend left me about a year ago and I’ve just been throwing myself into my career. All I can say I’ve gotten out of that is this really badass shield. Supposedly I’m fearless, but I’m really afraid of dying alone. Let’s go out sometime and have a cup of coffee.
I’ll let you hold my shield.
Level 2 Bullywug Thug
seeking bullywug females, any level
If you recognize me it’s because I’m a bouncer at The Crossed Swords. Problem is, since it’s a gay bar, everyone assumes I’m gay. I’m here to say I’m NOT. I love women. It’s just that the gay bar pays better. So you’re probably wondering, why hire a bullywug as a bouncer when there are bigger, scarier races out there? It’s for the bouncing (get it?). Other bouncers have to bully their way through the crowd at ground level. I can leap over them and right on the head of the obnoxious patron. Either way, it would be nice to come home after a night at The Crossed Swords and be able to snuggle up to a woman. Call me, okay?
Level 2 Orc Savage
seeking orc females, level 1-5
All orc savage wear loincloth all the time. I don’t know what write here, so I tell you my loincloth joke*. Okay?
Orc goes to shaman.
Orc say “I so sick, cough all day, nose run, feel like dung. Not getting better. What you think?”
Shaman say, “You look bad. I need sample of spit, sweat, blood, and baby-orc-makin-juice to do tests on.”
Orc say, “Oh, great. I have all of that on my loincloth!”
You laugh? Send me email.
Level 4 Vampire Spawn
seeking anyone, any level
You know what they say about Big Hands? Big gloves! Ha! I slay myself. Wait, already dead. I’m looking mainly for friends. I want to wrap my hands around your neck and bi– I mean, give you hugs and kisses. Maybe a friendly nibble?
Let’s go out to dinner and enjoy a nice glass of red bl– wine. I enjoy chardonnay – that’s a red, right?
Level 3 Deathlock
seeking undead females, any level
Notice my beautiful pearly whites? These are no accident. I’m a dentist. The undead need dental care, too! How do you expect to inflict good bite attacks if your teeth are rotting out of your gums? Sure, sometimes I inflict minor wounds while working on my patients, but it’s never as bad as all those fraidy-cats say it is.
I’m looking for a woman who wants to be my hygenist and life partner. If you love teeth, biting, or sticking your hands in people’s mouths, contact me right away for an interview.
Level 6 Renegade Warlock
seeking human females, level 1-5
Hi ladies, my name is Dakion. I’m a renegade warlock, which basically means I do my own thing. Like being a maverick. Mostly I like to appear randomly and do good deeds, because that is very maverick for a warlock. Don’t you think?
Either way, I’m looking for a lady who will toy with me until I can’t stand it any longer. At that point, I’ll either do something about it or disappear without a trace.
Level 3 Celestial Dire Badger
seeking badger males, level 3-7
I’m a single mom and am VERY PROTECTIVE of my babies! If you even have the slightest twinge of Evil in you, I will smite you right where you stand, so don’t even try. I’m looking for a male badger who can help guard my lair, raise my babies, and make more babies. Babies are so adorable and I definitely know I want more, more, more! I’m shooting for octuplets next time – wanna help make ‘em?
Deathknell is an older set and can be hard to find at your Friendly Local Game Store. If you’re interested in any of the minis above (or the BEHOLDER!), your best bet is to order online.
Then maybe my Beholder and your Beholder could go on a date at GenCon. Sound fun?
* Credit for the loincloth joke goes to Tommy the Coach Driver from my Europe tour. His version was of a German guy and his lederhosen.