People worry about privacy when it comes to online dating. This statement counts twice when the person in question has a high profile job.
So what do you do when you want love in your life but can’t risk the wrong people getting the wrong idea?
As a former high school teacher, I have been there. Here’s what I can tell you about privacy, and lack thereof, when it comes to online dating.
Real Life Concerns
If your job puts you in the spotlight in your community, you may be wary about putting out a website advertising your need for a partner.
When I was a teacher, I was always waiting for the day when a student would come in and say, “Hey Ms. F, I saw your match.com profile last night!”
You know what? It never happened.
I also never bumped into a former student while shopping in the adult superstore (though I did learn a former student is now an adult film star, but that’s another story).
Recently in my hometown of Charlotte, North Carolina, several teachers were disciplined for material they had posted to Facebook. The infamous “morality clause” of the teaching contract was called into play and there was a general uproar on the internet about first amendment rights, privacy, and the expectation of teachers to be role models for America’s children.
It’s Up To YOU To Prevent Forest Fires!
My first thought?
“Why on EARTH did they have their profile visible
to the whole Charlotte network?“
Privacy is your responsibility, folks.
If it’s something you worry about, there are steps you can take to ensure that your dating profile is (mostly) only seen by potential partners, not business associates, clients, or students.
Options to Keep Your Profile Private
Don’t Date Online
That’s the easiest one. Date the old fashioned way, or hire a private matchmaking service.
Don’t Post Your Photo
Go the incognito, secret agent man way. They can’t prove it’s you without a picture – can they?
There’s a fine line between being private and obscuring important facts about yourself. It can be walked – very, very carefully – and you can be successful. Sadly, few inexperienced writers can make it across that tightrope.
Use A More Private Online Dating Service
Services like eHarmony and Chemistry only show you matches that are appropriate for you. This eliminates the chances of being randomly discovered by a bored high school sophomore on a Saturday night. It does not eliminate the chances of being discovered by a coworker or client who fits the same demographic you are seeking to date.
Wherever You Keep Your Dating Profile…
Unless you are using a dating website for consenting adults, keep your dating profile grandma-friendly. You can discuss all that other stuff once you’ve gotten to know your potential partner better.
Another thing to remember – depending on where you call home in the online dating world, your dating profile may have a cozy home on a server somewhere long after you’ve stopped using it.
Tread carefully – on the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog, but you leave pawprints wherever you walk.
About e
In all things I try to keep my real name off the web, as well as pictures that are clearly me. I occasionally Google myself and get a little ticked when I find my name out there. Amazon.com started publishing real names on reviews and purchases, which of course Google picked up. I don’t feel ashamed of anything on there, but I don’t need some potential employer Google-ing my name and finding anything, because you never know what will offend. People have lost licensure (sp?), and like you mentioned, jobs over their belief that no one is looking up their co-workers.
Darius Whiteplume´s last blog post..Fiction’s Finest Nerds #14
I’ve been burned here a few times.
I’m a cashier in a grocery store, so quite a few people see me. At one point, I got a message from a really creepy older dude who recognized me from my OKCupid Profile. (Bonus Tip: If you’re a 50 year old whose profile details your weird sexual fetishes, OKCupid is probably the wrong site for you)
More recently, I got in trouble at work when someone noticed a CraigsList missed connections post where I’d identified myself as a store employee.
“Tread carefully – on the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog, but you leave pawprints wherever you walk.”
That’s deep
Jack Smith IV´s last blog post..The Elkram: Release!
@ Darius – It is quite annoying when you find your real name popping up in places you don’t necessarily want it to be. ;p I’ve found that using my first initial instead of my full first name tends to help as far as random googling. You may consider changing your amazon.com account to have just your first initial and last name.
@ Alan – LOL! Yeah, that is really creepy. Ew.
@ Jack IV – I do my best.
I entirely don’t understand why nobody except potential matches should see my dating.
What harm to me it would cause?
I put it openly on the web and am not ashamed of it:
http://endofgospel.org/marriage.html