What do you do if you are looking for love and hold a set of beliefs that aren’t so popular?
We at GDG and Online Dating Profiler are equal opportunity providers and believe that everyone deserves love. I trust that my usual crowd will be respectful, but please know that I will delete any comments from this post that stir up drama between the faiths.
So what is your friendly neighborhood Atheist, Agnostic, Buddhist, Pagan, Wiccan, or (insert your flavor here) to do when looking for a compatible mate online?
Custom Searches Are Your Best Friend
Skip the usual search functionality and set up your own Custom Searches. I have a detailed series on Match.com’s custom searches, but most sites will let you do something similar.
Make a custom search for people who fit your religious beliefs as well as any other major qualities (age, distance, etc). Sometimes the “mutual match” features will show people who are not your religious match just because they match you in other areas. This is why custom searches are key.
What To Do If Your Matches Are Few
- Expand your search radius.
If there aren’t enough Buddhists in your hometown, stretch your search out by 20-50 miles and see if that picks up more hits.
- Loosen up your other requirements.
Sure, you might not think you’d be interested in someone so young/old, but you might get lucky and find someone really mature/young for her age! Rob the cradle (legally!) or get yourself a cougar. You might like it.
- Look for open-minded Christians.
There are plenty of people in the world who are Christian and open-minded about other religions. Don’t be afraid to email someone just because they list “Christian” as their religion. They may just be the cool open-minded variety. If she emails back with the fire and brimstone and tries to save your soul, just click block and move on. No biggie.
- Seek other religious minorities.
You can have thought-provoking conversations about the nature of the universe and be happy agreeing to disagree. It might not be your ideal, but who knows, you just might like it!
An’ It Harm None… Do What Ye Will
Be respectful and kind to the people of the online dating world. We are all just searching for that perfection that is Love. That’s the same no matter what name you call God.
Happy dating, Geek Friends.
About e
What about for Orthodox Christians?
That’s gotta be at least as rare as those other religions you talked about…
Andrew J. Leer´s last blog post..UploadLog
…well at least in America…
Andrew J. Leer´s last blog post..UploadLog
Actually, she talked about Christian-specific (and Jewish-specific, IIRC) dating in a prior post.
@Graham Where was that at?
Andrew J. Leer´s last blog post..UploadLog
http://geeksdreamgirl.com/2009/01/16/for-the-faithful-christian-and-jewish-dating-sites/
See, there are entire websites dedicated to christian (and other) dating. Atheists/Agnostics don’t really have that.
Aside from that, though, all the same advice should apply if you’re using match.com. Just switch the terms. “Don’t be afraid of atheists”, for instance.
@Graham, thanks chief!
Andrew J. Leer´s last blog post..UploadLog
@ Andrew – Christian Cafe is my top choice for Christian-specific dating. When you sign up they have a list a mile long of every flavor of Christianity possible.
Non “standard” religious dating is always interesting. I’m a Taoist by religion, and that always invokes an interesting reaction from girls I date. Generally, most are open-minded, but a few play the convert or get out game. Those aren’t really worth the time.
Way back when, when I did a bit of online dating, it was always the first question that I got from a girl. So what exactly is a taoist? I’m pretty much resigned to a little religious difference from anyone I date, and it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. There just has to be openness on both sides. A bit of realization that the end message is important, not the path walked to get there.
Nice post e!
@ John – Thanks! I totally agree that it’s more about what you believe rather than what you name it.
I’ve been through several different religious explorations and have settled on a path that is good for me. Luckily, I found a wonderful geekboy who sees that on the whole, I’m Good. (Except when I’m Neutral Evil, that is.) 
Living in the church belt of the south, it’s usually difficult to find others that share alternate belief’s or accepting of other belief’s outside of the major religions.
@ Sid – I feel ya there! I once took a very insane Greyhound bus ride to Alabama (from NY!!) and my seatmate was trying to “save” me for the first 3 hours we sat together. After he realized I wasn’t interested in being saved, he decided to hit on me. Ew.
Well, my experience is that when dating girls with higher educations (which let’s be honest, most geekgirls are) this isn’t really much of an issue. As “e” said, its important to look for open minded people, and from my experience most girls are. Besides you probably won’t meet many highly educated religious girls, let alone girls so strongly religious that it becomes an issue that you’re an atheist or agnostic.
However, the balance might be a different here (in the Netherlands) as 90% of the girls I date are defacto agnostics or atheists…. (but your advice would be just as valuable for Christian people…. which shows that it’s nice general advice
)