Here’s a dirty little secret about me: I love listening to radio and TV preachers. I don’t describe myself as Christian, but if I flip past a station and there’s some fire and brimstone being served piping hot, you bet your sweet sinful ass I’ll stop and listen.
On my trip home from Atlanta on Sunday, I was able to catch a bit of a preacher on the radio. I stayed tuned in until the point the signal became too weak.
What is it that makes these preachers so fascinating, even if you’re not interested in what they have to say? How in the world does this even APPLY to online dating profiles?
Let me show you. It’s as easy as ABC.
The radio preacher speaks with authority. He knows that he’s in the right. Deep in his heart, he believes that the words he is speaking come straight from the source. There’s not a doubt in his mind. When he speaks, you can tell that he believes what he is saying with ever fiber of his being.
How often do you find an online dating profile that sounds like the person is an authority on who they are and what they want? Rarely! How much more attractive would your profile be if it sounded like you believed in yourself and your ability to find the perfect match?
Radio preachers know how to turn it up to 11. They can weave a tale like no other. The preacher I listened to on Sunday had a great extended metaphor about driving down the path to righteousness. There were cars, lanes, ditches, windshield wipers, bad drivers, the works! He created a brilliant scene and used the power of his voice to reel you in by speaking very quietly, only to crescendo into a booming declaration of your need to commit to God’s path. It was riveting.
Most online dating profiles are about as exciting as the back of a cereal box. In fact, my box of Banana Nut Cheerios is more exciting than about half the profiles I’ve read this week. Why are we afraid to express ourselves and think outside the box? Reel people in with what makes you unique.
Come ‘n Get It-Ness
Most importantly, the radio preacher makes you feel like everything he is telling you is within your reach. You can have a life burning in hell or a life of eternal salvation. Come ‘n get it! “I’m just here to tell you this because I care about you,” he purred. “You can be on the path with God today. You just need to get in His lane.”
Authority and bravura aside, your profile must always make people feel welcome and comfortable contacting you. Invite them to write you and give them an idea for a great first contact email. You may be the coolest little shop on the street, but if you don’t unlock your door and flip the sign to OPEN, nobody’s going to buy your wares.
Happy dating, Geek Friends!