Easy Win Contest: How Would Your Geek Icon Cook Steak? Win $25 to Outback Steakhouse!
April 13, 2009 by e
Filed under Dungeons & Dragons, Geek Life
Update: We have a winner!! Thanks for playing!!
To help spread the word about their new menu offerings (15 meals under $15!), the fine folks at Outback Steakhouse have provided us with a most excellent prize to give away, geek friends. How would you like $25 in free food?
(You’d be a hero at D&D night if you showed up with multiple Bloomin’ Onions!)
All you need to do to enter to win is tell us about how your favorite geek icon(s) would cook (or eat) a steak.
J got us started on Thursday with a story about Jean-Luc Picard grilling on the holodeck. Now it’s your turn.
- Would Expy the red dragon use his fire breath?
- How would Bender from Futurama like his steak?
- What about the Swedish Chef from The Muppets?
- Could the hologram of Rimmer from Red Dwarf even eat steak?
While you’re thinking, here’s some inspiration:
Our weary adventurers were looking for a hearty meal that wouldn’t lighten their purses too much. Errich pointed up at a glowing red sign. “Ye Olde Outback,” he exclaimed. “I haven’t seen one of these before! Must be new here!”
“Ooooooh!” squealed Mielka, bouncing up and down. “I smell steak! Can we go, can we go?”
Fin sighed. “Fine by me, but do you think they’ll let HIM in?“ He nodded towards the dirty dwarf. Ag was scratching his dreadlocks, sending flakes of dried blood everywhere.
“Never know if we don’t try,” Helion replied, holding open the heavy wooden door for the party.
As it turned out, Ye Olde Outback was kind enough to not have a dress code. In fact, it had the air of a comfortable tavern, just in a strange location. The adventurers flipped through the menu before deciding on their meals.
“Have you noticed how many of these meals are under 15 silver?“ Errich said. His voice trailed off, “I can pay for this meal with the money I pickpocketed from the lady on the sidewalk.”
Fin wrinkled his nose. “If it’s that cheap, it can’t be very good.”
He changed his mind immediately after his plate of pepper encrusted steak arrived. He dipped his slender finger into the cream sauce and tasted it. “Mmmm… brandy.”
Mielka dug into her ribs and soon her face and hands were sticky with sauce. She dipped her fingers one by one into her ale and sucked them clean.
Helion savored his sweet glazed pork tenderloin, carefully chewing each bite with his eyes closed.
Errich’s eyes popped when he saw the size of the shrimp on his place. “I’ve been on the sea for years and I’ve never seen shrimp this big!” – he took a bite – “or this tasty!”
Even Ag the Dirty Dwarf was happy. He ordered a giant fried onion and buried his face in it, devouring it in 20 seconds before ordering another, and another, and another.
When they finally left, they were full, very happy, and still had 4d20 gold to spend on a nightcap at the inn. Could the evening be any better?
Winning the $25 Gift Card
The winner will be chosen at random on Monday, April 20, 2009. You must enter by 11:59 PM EST on Sunday 4/19/09 to be eligible to win.
You can earn up to 5 entries in the contest! Pick one thing to do… or do them all:
1 entry: Leave a comment on this post with a short (1 paragraph or more) tale about your favorite geek icon(s) cooking/eating steak (or any of the other delicious Outback creations).
1 entry: Tweet about the contest. Log into Twitter and tweet any variation on the following: “Win $25 to Outback @geeksdreamgirl’s website! Free to enter at http://bit.ly/steak!“ (Don’t forget the @geeksdreamgirl part, otherwise I won’t see your tweet!)
3 entries: Post a long version of your story on your blog with a link back to this post (http://bit.ly/steak).
Good luck!
J & I look forward to reading your geeky steak stories!
Learn More…
Check out the new Outback 15 under $15 menu and you too can have a steak adventure!
E. Foley is a geek girl extraordinaire. She writes great online dating profiles for geeks and non-geeks, helping clients all over the world find love. She is the National Online Dating Examiner, columnist at Dating Sites Reviews, and a ghostwriter for several other dating & relationships sites. She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame and her two adorable cats, Mr. Peanut and Don Juan. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)
Gary and Dave would percentiles and consult the Target Doneness chart, then roll a skill check to see how close they get to what they are going for. From that chart they will get a bonus or penalty to the Doneness Proximity table where they will roll 2d20 and apply the previous modifier to see how close to the desired doneness they were attempting.
In memoriam. *salute*
Picard would just ask the replicator for it… and a cup of Earl Grey. Hot.
Meg´s last blog post..No Surprises
Gollum would be a tough customer. He don’t want medium rare..or rare. He wants it “rrrraww…and wwwwrrrriggling”
Somehow I doubt that will be in any future Outback commercial, but I just couldn’t help myself.
Spike the Ubiquitous´s last blog post..Magical item – Hammer-pants – +3 to bustin’ dope rhymes
Malcolm Reynolds would buy his steak in an Alliance-friendly bar on Unification Day. He’d get through about half of his steak before starting a brawl.
As we look down upon the scarred battlefield, we see a pair of golden haired warriors…and in the blink of an eye they vanish. Suddenly we hear and see explosions going off all around us…
Then as quickly as they vanished, the warriors return, seemingly out of breath, drenched in sweat, clothes torn, and bruises beginning to form. The smaller of the two warriors looks at the first and screams:
“Kakarot! Let’s end this trivial spectacle….”
The other, taller warrior seems to relax a little… “Sure Vegeta, I am getting pretty hungry.”
“Did you want to grab something to eat? Chi-chi said I need to cut back, but I could really go for a steak…”
Vegeta begins to slowly shake his head and says, “I swear Kakarot, all you do is think with your stomach.”
The gold begins to fade from both of the warriors hair and they begin to relax. Vegeta strolls up to Kakarot (Goku) and begins to tell him about a new restaurant that him and Bluma passed by on their last trip to Capsule™ Corps.’ headquarters. The name of this restaurant is ‘Outback’.
Goku looks at Vegeta and smiles…”I can’t wait to sink my teeth into a thick, succulent, meaty, steak…I heard about that place on the television…looks good”
After a short rest and respite, Goku and Vegeta fly over to the nearest Outback Steakhouse. As they enter, their senses are assaulted by the smell of steak, chicken and shrimp that was recently cooked hanging in the air.
After being seated at a booth and being served by a young man by the name of John, Goku and Vegeta begin to look over the menu. John returned to take their order and to bring them their drinks. Goku simply handed John the menu and said:
“One of everything, except the Ribeye…i’ll take three of those.”
Vegeta just looks at Goku with dsigust…”Can’t you eat like a normal Saiyan Kakarot?”
“What Vegeta, i’m hungry…” Goku says with a smile.
After about 15 minutes, Goku’s food begins to leave the kitchen and arrive at the table. After about another 20 minutes, it all has disappeared into Goku’s stomach.
Vegata sits and watches as his ‘Queensland Salad’ arrives. He barely has time to start eating as Goku flags John down to begin ordering his second course…
Finally, both of our warriors are done eating and John walks up, mouth agape. He stares at the three page ticket and the mountain of plates. He walks up and begins to hand the check over to Goku, who looks at Vegeta and says:
“Hey, Vegeta, would you mind picking this up, I seem to have forgotten my wallet…again.”
Han solo would cook it in less than 12 parsecs, before wondering why nobody taught him what a parsec was, and why there are no Outback restaurants in Manitoba anyways.
Seriously, we have none here. I probably shouldn’t win.
Unless I get a job in Alberta, or Ontario. I’ll let you know if I do so before this is over.
Graham´s last blog post..32 hours of D&D gaming party!
@Anubis: That is totally AWESOME!!
Fruit of Ambrosia´s last blog post..The Asian Connection
Admiral Motti is grilling sausages, hotdogs, burgers, brats, and other various meats for the other Imperial officers…Darth Vader comments on how the power to cook flesh with propane is insignificant next to the power of the force…the Admiral condescends, “Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you fry the perfect chicken or given you the clairvoyance enough to find the Rebels’ secret recipe-”
Vader chokes the Admiral for his insolence. “I find your lack of steak disturbing.” The Admiral frantically motions to a shake on a table off to the side. Vader releases him after a few seconds more.
He slurps his steak shake through an Imperial straw…
Reverend Mike´s last blog post..Demotivational Monday: From Mordith’s Journal
Merry looks to Pippin, “great idea getting those steaks from the Prancing Pony. Strider won’t even let us start a fire to cook them. I like it rare, but not raw.”
Pippin replies, “Well at least I got some salad and a bit of cake for dessert.”
((Told in the style of Gaven Morren, the character from my Twitter story))
The prison food in Miir leaves something to be desired. I get my choice of moldy bread, maggoty meat, and brackish water. Yum.
But out on the streets, well–that’s another story. All the finest restaurants are closed, but that’s not going to stop me long.
There. Jimmy the lock–and the kitchen is mine for the ransacking. Start a fire, cut a few choice choice slabs with my dagger…just need to wait.
Ah! I have missed you, smell of roasting meat! And your cousin, mashed potatoes! And your fine sister, glass of wine! Together, we shall…
What was that? Something moved–Dragon dung. Curse you, smell of roast meat! You’ve betrayed me, brought something from the night to us.
Dagger at the ready. Looks like I’m going to need to *earn* my meal. Such a cost, too–it’d only be 15 coins in the day.
Halfway through a well done steak I realized it was bloodied, so I sent it back.
Mark Clover´s last blog post..Dave Arneson Passes
Should Onyxia try to cook a steak instead of just eating a tasty priest or mage, she’d invite 40 of her closest friends to try and stab her in the side for a little bit. After a while, she’d build up enough anger to flame breath the steak, as well as the 40 people stabbing her, and cook it to perfection in about 30 seconds. After eating the steak, she’d of course eat the other 40 people…
Darth would zap his steak with a light sabre for fast food steak.
Frodo decides his steak is too rare and begins the long, arduous journey to Kitchen to throw it back into the fires of the oven whence it was seared.
Jason Ramboz´s last blog post..Further Thoughts on “SyFy” – A D&D Story
This just popped into my head, and I had to share… though really, someone should probably smack me for this:
Han Solo likes his Chewy.
*runs*
Jason Ramboz´s last blog post..Further Thoughts on “SyFy” – A D&D Story
Feeling it resonate in his sheathe, Pippin pulls out his enchanted steak knife. His eyes glisten gleefully as he observes its glowing blue blade. “We’re in luck boys. There are cows nearby. We’ll eat well tonight.”
Buffy the Vampire Slayer has plenty of stakes already, but she always uses them to cook.
Dave T. Game´s last blog post..Announcing the One Page Dungeon Contest
No time to write much, I just want to reply/add on to anubisascends’s submission…
—
“Hey, Vegeta, would you mind picking this up, I seem to have forgotten my wallet…again.”
“Damn it Kakarot! The bill is OVER NINE THOUSANDS!!!
Larry Owens´s last blog post..Entertainment Earth! Big Sale! Big Deals! Big…PUPPETS!
Commander Koenig from Space 1999 would yell at Dr. Russell, yell at the bridge crew and then jettison the steak from Moonbase Alpha’s airlock, launch an Eagle and then zap it with the Eagle’s laser! But the steak would get sucked into a black hole as the moon kept moving the other direction…which would mean that Koenig would have to give one of his intense speeches about the wastefulness of it all. [cue theme!]
Chuck Norris does not eat steak. Chuck Norris eats the whole cow.
Bob the massively muscular warrior would take out his Flare Sword(sword of my own creation which can manipulate and create elemental and non-elemental fire) and place the slab of meat directly onto the blade. He would then proceed to use the heat from the blade to cook the steak to well-done perfection. Once the steak was fully cooked, he would use no fork, nor any knife. He would simply take the steak in his hands and bite into it piece by flavorful piece until the steak was completely devoured.
Eragon, the dragon rider, would do whatever an amalgam of Frodo, Strider and Galdalf would do, only he would take 50 pages longer and attempt to use bigger words.
Paul Atreides back from the conquest of Giedi Prime sits down in Sietch Tabr and prepares a perfectly cooked steak for himself. Gathering a few herbs and a hand full of spice he rubs their flavor into the prime cut of beef and places it over a fire. Sitting back and savoring the sweet smell of spice wafting into the air he thinks about his first ride on a sand worm. The rush of adrenaline and fear, then the Prana Bindu he preformed to calm himself. Now with the steak perfectly cooked he sat back and looked down the golden path.
Merlin lived through time backwards, so cooking a steak began with a pleasantly full sensation in his stomach and the taste of steak in his mouth (and his beard mottled with drippings). After a chewing sensation he would find himself before an open fire grilling a well-seasoned piece of meat. Viviane had stolen his secret blend of spices, but that lay ahead of him in the past. After the grilling, Merlin would buy the steak from the local butcher — taking care to compliment him on serving up such a delicious cut. Later, Merlin would stand wistfully before a cow and offer his apologies.
Terry´s last blog post..Fun Home by Alison Bechdel
At an X-men cookout:
Cyclops and jean grey Team up to make well Done steak. Jean grey uses telekinesis to lift the stakes while cyclops cooks them with his laser. Not to be out done, gambit tries to cook his steak by charging it with energy. his stake blows up all over rogue, who simply licks her fingers clean while gambit watches. Wolverine (Hugh Jackman eats steak!! Now that is something i would like to see!!) eats his steak practically raw right off of his blades, even though Professor X in all his Patrick stewart-y goodness admonishes him. The Beast is the most civilized of them all. he eats his steak Medium well with fork and Knife.
@ James Martin – The extra fifty pages, of course, are required for describing how Eragon had to hide his steak preparation from the elves and then how guilty he felt about it later (this last as part of a night-long discourse to a companion around a campfire). ;-p
Anywho…
Samantha Carter couldn’t help but laugh quietly to herself as she remembered the three steaks she had eaten in one sitting while wearing the alien armband. The seasoning had been perfect, the meat seared just right. Almost as good as something from the Outback Steakhouse. She didn’t have a kitchen to work with, so she doubted she could match the memory. But Daniel’s Abydonian recipe, improvised with some of Jack’s beer, should suffice for making the venison steak quite tasty. They couldn’t start a fire, of course, without drawing attention to their hideout — and she’d finally convinced Teal’c that a staff blast would ruin the carefully marinated meat. It’s a good thing we found this Ancient Device! she thought as she finished tuning it for medium-rare.