There’s been a bit of drama in my usual D&D group which has basically caused all the games I was playing in to either be on hiatus or stop completely. (Long, long story.)
It got me thinking, though. Is it possible to play a regular RPG with people who you don’t consider to be your friends?
Is there a person in your D&D group who is the friend that nobody likes?
You’re welcome to choose up to four answers, including waffles for those who just want to click things.
[poll id="26"]
Comments, Please!
Do you consider your D&D group to be friends or just those people you game with? Do you prefer the anonymity of a pickup group at a con or are you better able to let loose and roleplay around friends?
About e
There’s usually one person. In my group I like everyone, but I think that’s pretty rare. Now that doesn’t mean that there are different levels of like/dislike between the various people of said group, but in the end we all can stand each other, and dammit we are here to game.
I’ll invite people I don’t know to a game session at my house – but if we don’t get along (eg. become friends) then I’m not going to invite them back.
Stuart´s last blog post..First Game of 4th Edition D&D
Generally, I like to think the people I game with are my friends. We may find these people randomly, but usually I only continue playing with people I consider my friend.
bonemaster´s last blog post..Traveller5 Trade Helper Application Alpha
(technically I prefer waffles with butter and strawberries… but that’s besides the point)
Currently the group I play with is pretty small and we more or less like each other (at least… I hope they like me… *sniff, sniff*), but before this yeah I’ve played in groups where there is that one guy. Either he’s one persons friend, or he’s just been around forever so it’s to hard to get rid of them… and the group just prior to this more or less exploded due to multiple issues, but “friends no one likes” was definitely a factor.
Personally I prefer to get along with and like the people I game with. It makes me much more relaxed and more likely to get into the character, as opposed to worrying about what other people are thinking of what I’m doing.
There should be an option “I like the person in real life, but hate the way they role-play”. I have a player in my group who continually plays two-dimensional characters and hogs the spot-light, dragging the game from interesting role-play into a combat-fest, despite the group preferring the former game-style.
He’s also one of my best friends. He’s a good guy who cares for all of us as people very much. And he’s immune to suggestions for improving his gaming style…
It’s interesting that gamers will tolerate roleplaying with someone they cannot otherwise stand. You really don’t see that in other segments of society, forced environments such as the workplace notwithstanding. Cook’s routine aside, most gaming troupes will tolerate bad behaviour that would cause expulsion from the group–if not outright violence–anywhere else. It’s surprising to me that more psychologists and sociologists don’t write their theses on gaming troupe behaviour, especially considering the strong overlap among people in those three categories.
For me, the whole point of gaming is in spending time with friends doing something that we really enjoy. I get as obsessive as the next dice freak, and get really focused during gameplay, but ultimately roleplaying is really just an excuse to hang out with my mates.
Considering how many years we have been playing the same campaign, those in my troupe who weren’t already friends before are now. I suppose that by Cook’s logic the fact that I can’t see who the hated friend is means I fill that role. That’s okay though, I’m the GM; they aren’t supposed to like me…
…and am too late to edit to add the extra bit:
The cherry on top is that I’ve now moved to a different city (for work) where I don’t know anybody, and I’ll have to play with strangers. I’m hopeful about finding a decent gaming group, but realistically I don’t know if I’ll ever find a group that I enjoy D&D with as much as the guys I grew up with :’(
Thank you for including the waffles! It was pretty much my only option!
j´s last blog post..Poll & Comment Fest: The D&D Friend That Nobody Likes
I took the “I prefer to like the people in my games” cookie but there’s nothing like starting a new Roleplay game with strangers, getting to know them through their characters and their writing.
What I’ve found over the years though is that the same people tend to attract each other, a strong group bond forms and anyone that isn’t “liked” is – to put it a little strongly perhaps – forced out.
I spent the whole of the video thinking “Do I know anyone like that? Nah.” Then suddenly realised that I did.
He’s not actually in my roleplaying group. Thankfully. He’d be appalling at RP.
Hammer´s last blog post..Review: Fallout 3: The Pitt
Playing with friends is my preference, but in the group I just started, I only know 1 of the other players outside the game. I really don’t have a problem playing with strangers, though. It’s an opportunity to form new friendships.
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mmmm….waffles
I definitely prefer to game with friends, given any sort of choice. When we moved and were desperate to game we ended up in a group that was 1/2 people I didn’t know and ended up not liking….but it was an ok game. I’ve also actively played long term with someone I refused to have in my house about 2/3 of the way in. Not pleasant but everyone else was ok with him so I dealt.
There’s no answer for “I don’t like everyone in my game, but they’re all good friends, so I put up with the ones who annoy me.” Which I have a feeling is a relatively common situation, and happens to be mine.
Well, I’m quite likely the biggest douchebag in our game group
That’s why I’m the DM. Seriously, though, I really can only game with people that I like, and those people usually end up as my friends. As a player, I can play with people I wouldn’t necessarily consider my friends, but my character would probably be a bit antagonistic towards them (at least until I got to know them better).
Btw…sorry you’re own gaming groups are going through trouble. Hopefully you’ll be on track soon enough. We want to hear more from Moradin’s Lass!
I haven’t played D&D in a *cough* long time. Back when I did, it was almost always with friends. In two of the groups I gamed with, there was one person that everybody picked on. I almost feel sorry for those people, but they’re so bleeping clueless that they don’t get that they are being picked on.
Ignorance may indeed be bliss.
I’m really selective about who I play games with. I can sometimes game with new people but never with people I don’t like outside the game.
I think as geeks we are really hesitant to exclude people, even people no one actually likes, just because in generally we know how much it sucks to be excluded.
Wow, we have one of those at our table.
This person tells the same four inane stories over and over again, several times per session, to the point where we’ll desperately avoid certain common and otherwise harmless topics (like pets, for instance) just so we don’t have to sit through another retelling of That Dreaded Dog Anecdote.
This is on top of regular attendance and tardiness issues, a tendency toward pedagogy, forgettable roleplaying and character building skills, and persistent (and persistently denied) mechanical errors on this person’s character sheets.
We’ve lost several campaigns to this person’s sheer suckitude, and we’ve all recently decided as a group that we don’t want this person in our game anymore. But we feel bad and don’t want to hurt their feelings (they’re not a bad person, just boring and annoying), so rather than kicking this person out, we’re pulling the old “breaking up the band and reforming as a different band with all the same members minus one” bit.