Everyone’s all “OMG RECESSION!” People are losing their jobs, businesses are crumbling, house prices are tumbling, and Jack and Jill just can’t manage to get the credit line to buy the motorized scooters needed to cart their fast-food-filled asses up the hill to fetch a pail of water. (Okay, most likely a pail of Coca-Cola, but who really cares?) Oh, woe is America. The suckitude is upon us. Whatever shall we do?
Pull your tear-stained head out of your rear and play some Dungeons & Dragons, that’s what!
Top 5 Reasons Why D&D Will Help You Survive The Recession
1. Dungeons & Dragons can be a very cheap hobby.
Let’s face it, you’ve probably spent a ton of money on D&D already. But do you really NEEEEEEED the newest supplement books? Do you really NEEEEEEEEED the new minis?
If you’re choosing between buying food or D&D materials, choose food. You can still play D&D just fine with the stuff you have.Also, depending on where you play D&D, you may be able to score free snacks! Who doesn’t like free snacks?
2. Playing D&D takes up a lot of your free time.
Time is money, right? Think of the stuff you could do to entertain yourself while you’re unemployed. A lot of them involve spending money – even if it’s just money in gas to drive somewhere.Even a short D&D session is going to eat up a few hours of your day!
3. It’s a way to stay social when you don’t have a job.
One of the dangers of being unemployed is getting super duper depressed because you’re all alone at home with your cats. Or dogs. Or ferret. Iguana? Sounds sad, doesn’t it?
You’re all alone, you’ve memorized the daytime TV schedule, you find yourself getting worked up about the results of paternity tests on Maury. Then you realize that you’ve done nothing all day. You’ve done nothing all week. You’re not even sure that you’ve showered in the past couple days and your underwear is suspiciously crunchy.
D&D gets you out there with other people. Now, you may have D&D buddies with questionable hygiene, but at least you can have a variety of nerd whiff in the same room.
4. You’re not badass, but your character is.
Your real life may have “adventures” like Standing in the Unemployment Line, Walking Around The Job Fair Shaking Hands, and Rewriting Resume Again. In fact, not only are you LARPing in these adventures, you may be rolling lots of fumbles.Your life may suck, but your character will be a badass. (Unless you roll poorly, in which case you really do suck. Sorry.)
5. You’re not rich, but your character is.
Your bank account is doing poorly. It’s really sad, actually. Every time you pay rent or your mortgage, it hurts. It hurts a lot. You find yourself at the grocery store wondering if meat out of a can is really that much worse than fresh meat. You’re pondering going back to your college diet of ramen noodles and PBR. Heck, you could even sell your stove since ramen noodles can be prepared in a microwave.The good news is that your rogue has a ton of gold! Gosh, do you want a new cloak that’ll let you teleport through walls? Maybe a ring that grants you temporary invisibility? Hmmm… so many things you can afford. It’s like one of those awesome shopping sprees you used to see on TV where the kid got to fill like 5 shopping carts from Toys R Us. Oh my gosh, do you remember those? I was so jealous, weren’t you?
Your character is rich and can buy all sorts of cool things! It’s way awesomer than your real life, where your biggest choice is between Nissin Top Ramen or Maruchan.
So get out there, America! Play some D&D and ride out the recession with roleplaying. Do it now or the terrorists have won.
(If you’ve liked this article, you might want to check out my article on Examiner.com about surviving the recession through online dating and loose morals.)