Why Scoping Out Your Online Dating Competition Is A Bad Idea

Is it a good idea to check out “your competition” on your online dating site?  I’m going to argue both sides of this topic in two different posts.

In today’s post, why that’s a horrible, horrible idea.  For the sequel, how scoping out the competition can help you!

So you’ve done it… you’ve taken whatever steps necessary to keep the other dudes from noticing you’re scoping them out (on match.com, that involves hiding your profile temporarily).

You find your profile, you click on “more like him“… and you get a listing of guys who are freakin’ Chippendales.  (And straight to boot!)

Shoot!  No wonder you’re getting zero emails… compared to these guys, you look more like this…

How can you compete with those studs?  Your suckitude knows no bounds.  You’re boring, you’re ugly, you smell vaguely of nerd whiff.  No woman would ever think about looking at you, nevermind wanting to date you, and the idea of having sex with one?  Yeah, better get that out of your head.  There’s no way you’d compete with Chip and Dale there.

So you figure, “Maybe they’re all looks but no substance!  They can’t be as smart and well-rounded as me!


  • Chip is the CFO of a small but influential local business.  He enjoys golf, ballroom dancing, and grilling his own steaks.  His dream?  To find a woman who loves Dancing With The Stars and a good t-bone.
  • Dale is an artist, but not the starving type.  His recent collection of paintings has taken the local art world by storm and he’s already sold one to Donald Trump.  Oh, and he’s dying to get married and have at least 3 kids.

Well, shit.   Now what?  You might as well give up on dating.  Actually, you might as well give up on just about everything because the beautiful, successful sexy people rule the world and you are not one of them.

You’re either laughing because the past few paragraphs read exactly like your train of thought regarding dating or you got pissed that I would say such horrible things.

(If it’s the latter, please remove your tighty-whities from up your crack.  I don’t really think those things about you!)

This, my friends, is exactly why you shouldn’t scope out your “competition” on your online dating site.

Is this you?

  • You’re already pretty upset about not getting many dates.
  • You have a tendency to compare yourself to others (and you usually draw the conclusion that they’re better than you).
  • You can throw a pretty mean pity party for one.

Yes, it’s you? Don’t scope out your competition.  I don’t want you to hurt yourself and trust me, you probably will if you check out the “more like him” list.

Boost your dating self-esteem:

No? You may benefit from scoping them out.  Stay tuned for the next post to see why it could help you.

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About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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