Dear Anon-O-Box: I Just Don’t Care About Dating Anymore
Written by Anon-O-Box
July 3, 2009
2 Comments
Dear Anon-O-Box,
What do you do if you feel you’ve gone beyond the point of caring to try to establish a relationship with someone? Basically, what can you do when you’ve been dateless for so long that you can no longer remember your last one (seriously) and no longer care either (even more seriously)?
- Meh
Dear Meh,
This question makes me very sad. In fact, Meh, I want to hug you.
I’m going to give a little advice here, but my big advice is that you really should find a professional to discuss this with you. When I was suffering from depression a little over a year ago, I was surprised to find that my health insurance covered visits to a mental health professional. Even if yours doesn’t, many therapists have a sliding scale for payment so you can pay what you can afford.
My advice is this: If you can honestly and truly say you don’t care about dating, then don’t trouble yourself over the fact that you’re single. Our society presses upon us that we are worthless if we’re not coupled up, and if we’re coupled up, we’re worthless if we’re not married, and if we’re married, we’re worthless if we’re not reproducing.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
Find an activity that gives you the warm and fuzzy feeling of human companionship without the romantic love component. Help serve meals at the homeless shelter. Serve as a mentor for a struggling student. Train your pet to be a therapy animal and bring him to nursing homes to cheer up the residents. Scoff at the idea that romantic love is necessary to have a fulfilling life.
(As someone who grew up in Catholic schools, I can say that I met some VERY HAPPY and fulfilled nuns who had never been on a date in their lives! Of course, then there was Sister Mary Martha… *shiver*)
Make your mark on the world in a way that means something to you. Leave a legacy you can be proud of. If romantic love finds you in that process, then great. If not, no biggie. You’ve done something worthwhile nonetheless.
Anon-O-Box is a regular feature on Geek's Dream Girl. Questions are answered by E, J, Y, or even a guest writer. If you'd like to ask the Anon-O-Box a question, simply fill out the form on our Contact Us page. Be patient, though, we get a lot of questions!
Just to add a comment, I’ve often found that when you’re trying to find love, you often end up more miserable than when you started.
Love isn’t something that can be forced. Trying to establish a relationship for the sake of having a relationship won’t fulfill you in the same way, as Meh has obviously found.
Follow e’s advice. Enjoy life for what it is. If you don’t care about finding a relationship, then don’t force it. And if love comes down the road later on, so be it, and enjoy it when it does.
But by trying to force it, you might end up miserable now, and may even end up missing the chance at actual love because you were trying to force it with someone you didn’t love.
Good luck, Meh. I hope that, whatever you are looking for in life, you find it.
WOW. Thank you for publishing that. I’m in similar waters.