Let’s say you’ve seen someone whose interests seem compatible on an online dating site. You send her an email, and she sends one back! She seems just as interested in you as you are in her, and soon, you’ve arranged to meet.
You could be nervous about what she’ll think of you – but why stress over something you can’t control? Instead, make sure your inner demons don’t end this potential relationship before it begins.
Make It So.
Maybe this isn’t just another date for you. You see, you’re a huge Warhammer fan. Lo and behold, this girl is too! The first one you’ve ever seen on an online dating site. So there’s no question about whether or not this date will work – it has to.
I think many of us fall into this trap and place undue pressure on ourselves before a first date. In addition to wanting to make a good first impression, sometimes we really want to be impressed. And if we’re not… we force it. Sometimes trying too hard means that the date feels awkward and never takes off. Relax, and let the chemistry happen… or not.
Flunking Chemistry
There’s a reason why it’s important to meet up in person: Sometimes, even if you’re totally compatible on paper, it just doesn’t work in person, either for one or both of you. And you know what? That’s okay. Even the most obscure interests are not that obscure on the internet; there are many, many other people out there for you.
Or, maybe it’s not that important to find someone with that one specific interest. Maybe your Warhammer buddies will always be destined to be friends, and the girl for you will have other interests.
Don’t Feel Guilty
It’s entirely possible that you’ll find yourself in a situation where you’re the one who’s just not feeling it. If that’s the case, do yourself and your date a favor, and don’t lead them on. Have a good time, and if you know you’ll never click (and sometimes you do just know), do your best to be graceful. Wasting your date’s time isn’t helpful to either one of you.
On the Other Hand, Trust Your Gut
Maybe you’re feeling first-date awkwardness, but there’s something about this girl that really seems interesting. Don’t talk yourself out of pursuing another date! Just because you aren’t seeing fireworks doesn’t mean you can’t develop a friendship… or more.
This is all just a long-winded way of saying: RELAX! Being yourself and letting the chips fall where they may is the surest way to have a successful first date. Good luck!
About j
Good advice for people of any age. I am in my 60s and don’t identify with your games and musical groups, but what you say about relaxing applied to people later in life as well. The internet is not just for the young, you know. To see how older people use it, check out the book Internet Safari, Finding Love Online at 65 by Gordon Scott Edwards.
Interesting you should mention that book, Edward, as the author actually left a comment on a recent article.
…and has the same avatar as you (randomly generated based on email address).
…and, looking at it, has the same email address and IP address as you.
While it’s obvious that Gordon Scott Edwards is a pen name (which is fine, of course), I would like to ask why you posted here as though it was someone else’s book, when it is already stated elsewhere that it is a pen name.
Don’t get me wrong. A little bit of self-promotion is all fine and dandy in an appropriate article, which this is, and I wish you the best of luck with the book. But as advice for the future, posting under multiple accounts to make it seem as though the recommendations are coming from multiple sources can be seen as a little shady. It doesn’t look like this was the intent, of course, and I don’t want to imply that it was. It is something to keep in mind during your further promotion of the book, however.
Best of luck with the book, once again.