First Date Pressure: Don’t Get In Your Own Way

awkward
Let’s say you’ve seen someone whose interests seem compatible on an online dating site. You send her an email, and she sends one back! She seems just as interested in you as you are in her, and soon, you’ve arranged to meet.

You could be nervous about what she’ll think of you – but why stress over something you can’t control?  Instead, make sure your inner demons don’t end this potential relationship before it begins. 

Make It So.

Maybe this isn’t just another date for you.  You see, you’re a huge Warhammer fan.  Lo and behold, this girl is too!  The first one you’ve ever seen on an online dating site.  So there’s no question about whether or not this date will work – it has to.

I think many of us fall into this trap and place undue pressure on ourselves before a first date.  In addition to wanting to make a good first impression, sometimes we really want to be impressed.   And if we’re not… we force it.  Sometimes trying too hard means that the date feels awkward and never takes off.  Relax, and let the chemistry happen… or not.

Flunking Chemistry

There’s a reason why it’s important to meet up in person:  Sometimes, even if you’re totally compatible on paper, it just doesn’t work in person, either for one or both of you.  And you know what?  That’s okay.  Even the most obscure interests are not that obscure on the internet; there are many, many other people out there for you.

Or, maybe it’s not that important to find someone with that one specific interest.  Maybe your Warhammer buddies will always be destined to be friends, and the girl for you will have other interests.

Don’t Feel Guilty

It’s entirely possible that you’ll find yourself in a situation where you’re the one who’s just not feeling it.  If that’s the case, do yourself and your date a favor, and don’t lead them on.  Have a good time, and if you know you’ll never click (and sometimes you do just know), do your best to be graceful.  Wasting your date’s time isn’t helpful to either one of you.

On the Other Hand, Trust Your Gut

Maybe you’re feeling first-date awkwardness, but there’s something about this girl that really seems interesting.  Don’t talk yourself out of pursuing another date!  Just because you aren’t seeing fireworks doesn’t mean you can’t develop a friendship… or more.

This is all just a long-winded way of saying: RELAX!  Being yourself and letting the chips fall where they may is the surest way to have a successful first date.  Good luck!

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