How detrimental is it dating to be living at home in your (early) 30′s?
- In Mom’s Basement
I wish you’d have elaborated on the why’s of your situation…
There are some very good reasons for living with one’s parents that the right person will usually overlook when seeking a romantic partner:
- Caretaker: You are responsible for caring for an elderly or sickly parent and live at home because it’s easier to watch over them.
- Your Financial Hardship: You recently got divorced / lost a job / had a disaster that took the wind out of your financial sails. You’re crashing with your folks but are on the road to being on your own again soon.
- Their Financial Hardship: If your folks are having a hard time with their finances (for similar reasons as above) and you decided as a family to cohabitate until things get better.
However, there are many people who live with their parents for all the wrong reasons:
- Cheapskate: It’s cheaper to live with Mom. If you’re going to have a roommate, it might as well be one you know well, right?
- Mooch: One step worse! You live with Mom because she’ll let you do it for next to nothing. She’ll cook for you, clean for you… why bother getting your own place when staying here is so easy?
- Afraid To Be On Your Own: There are birdies who are just plain afraid to leave the nest. They may have great jobs, make enough money to live alone, and otherwise be perfectly fine… but they just don’t want to fly solo.
If you’re living at home for the right reasons, my advice is to downplay or not mention it in your profile. This is something that should be explained to a potential date as you get to know them, rather than something that’s out in the open from the start. On match.com, it’s as easy as clicking “No Answer” under your living situation.
Once you’ve gotten to the point where you’re talking with the person regularly over emails, IMs, or phone, then you can bring up your living situation. Your match will be much more receptive to hearing your good reasons at this point.
Of course, there’s the issue of what happens when things get serious. Do you always go to your date’s house? Do you do the high school deal of waiting for your parents to go out to sneak your girlfriend in? That’s a whole new can of worms.
If you’re living at home for the wrong reasons, I hate to tell you this, but you’re going to have a hard time finding a sympathetic ear. Unless of course, you find a match who is also still suckling on their parents’ retirement savings…
Happy dating, geek friends.