One reader asks:
One I’ve seen a few times, phrased one way or another, is “I’m looking for someone with a lot of money so I can spend it.” Do these ads ever get any replies?
That, my friend, is the classic gold digger, and she’s not going away any time soon.
According to our friends at Urban Dictionary, a gold digger is:
Any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits. A woman who cares more about a man’s bank account than she does about the man.
They’ve been around for a long time and they’re here to stay. Here are a few reasons why gold diggers are able to be successful (and thus, multiply and induct new women into their ranks):
Stereotypes Still Exist
There’s a stereotype that men should be the breadwinners and women should stay home and take care of the house and children. Think that 1950s mentality is dead? Think again.
Depending on how someone was raised, they may still have those core beliefs. For example, I know someone in his late-20s who believed that keeping his wife at home with their child was the way to make her subservient. By preventing her from having a career, she’d always be financially dependent on him. (She eventually got out of the bad relationship and has gone back to school.)
Now, if she had been the kind of girl who didn’t care about the man and just wanted to go through the motions so she’d have money to buy clothes and get her hair done, that relationship might have been perfect for her. If you prefer money to love, you’ll “work” to get it by faking it from paycheck to paycheck.
I See, Said The Blind Man…
There are some men who are just blind to the fact that they’re being used. Whether they’re willingly ignoring the fact or blissfully ignorant is hard to tell, but you’ve probably seen more than one “happy” relationship that vaporized the minute money troubles hit.
Some Men Have Low Self-Esteem
If you make bank, but aren’t exactly a luscious hunk, it’s easy to fall for the first woman in a low-cut top that gives you the time of day. And hey, if she says she loves you and she’s sleeping with you, that’s pretty much a relationship, right? (Right?)
This relationship sinkhole is even easier to fall into if you’ve been a relationship failure your whole life. (And let’s face it, there’s a few of you out there – I read the Anon-O-Box emails.) If every girl you’ve ever liked has shot you down or turned out to be a lesbian, it’s very, very easy to leap at the first chance of a relationship and cling to it with utter abandon.
Gold diggers count on these weaknesses and exploit them to their benefit. As long as there are men out there who hold to traditional gender stereotypes, are blind to gold diggers’ motives, or who are high on funds and low on self-esteem, these women will thrive.
Bad news? I suppose. There are some ways to prevent yourself from falling prey to such a woman. Click here to read more.