You are such awesome readers because you provide me with awesome questions so I don’t have to dream up post ideas myself.
One reader asks:
One I’ve seen a few times, phrased one way or another, is “I’m looking for someone with a lot of money so I can spend it.” Do these ads ever get any replies?
That, my friend, is the classic gold digger, and she’s not going away any time soon.
According to our friends at Urban Dictionary, a gold digger is:
Any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits. A woman who cares more about a man’s bank account than she does about the man.
They’ve been around for a long time and they’re here to stay. Here are a few reasons why gold diggers are able to be successful (and thus, multiply and induct new women into their ranks):
Stereotypes Still Exist
There’s a stereotype that men should be the breadwinners and women should stay home and take care of the house and children. Think that 1950s mentality is dead? Think again.
Depending on how someone was raised, they may still have those core beliefs. For example, I know someone in his late-20s who believed that keeping his wife at home with their child was the way to make her subservient. By preventing her from having a career, she’d always be financially dependent on him. (She eventually got out of the bad relationship and has gone back to school.)
Now, if she had been the kind of girl who didn’t care about the man and just wanted to go through the motions so she’d have money to buy clothes and get her hair done, that relationship might have been perfect for her. If you prefer money to love, you’ll “work” to get it by faking it from paycheck to paycheck.
I See, Said The Blind Man…
There are some men who are just blind to the fact that they’re being used. Whether they’re willingly ignoring the fact or blissfully ignorant is hard to tell, but you’ve probably seen more than one “happy” relationship that vaporized the minute money troubles hit.
Some Men Have Low Self-Esteem
If you make bank, but aren’t exactly a luscious hunk, it’s easy to fall for the first woman in a low-cut top that gives you the time of day. And hey, if she says she loves you and she’s sleeping with you, that’s pretty much a relationship, right? (Right?)
This relationship sinkhole is even easier to fall into if you’ve been a relationship failure your whole life. (And let’s face it, there’s a few of you out there – I read the Anon-O-Box emails.) If every girl you’ve ever liked has shot you down or turned out to be a lesbian, it’s very, very easy to leap at the first chance of a relationship and cling to it with utter abandon.
Gold diggers count on these weaknesses and exploit them to their benefit. As long as there are men out there who hold to traditional gender stereotypes, are blind to gold diggers’ motives, or who are high on funds and low on self-esteem, these women will thrive.
Bad news? I suppose. There are some ways to prevent yourself from falling prey to such a woman. Click here to read more.
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Let me sum up: the reason there are bad women is because men made them that way? REALLY?!
.-= Propagandroid´s last blog ..Review: Spire of Iron and Crystal – A Tournament Module for Swords and Wizardry =-.
@ Droid – No, but men (and let’s face it) other women, tell them that their behavior is okay. As humans, we don’t tend to repeat behaviors that don’t get us results.
Same reasons why the abusive man still exists. Girls will still date and marry them. If as a society, we recognized the signs and didn’t date/marry these types, people would have to change to a new MO.
It’s often called “the oldest profession,” though, so I doubt our society is going to change something that seems to be hardwired into the human social unit.
.-= Propagandroid´s last blog ..Review: Spire of Iron and Crystal – A Tournament Module for Swords and Wizardry =-.
Well, golddigger is classic darwinism 101. The guy with the most resources gets the girl, and the girl wants the guy with the most resources.
Although I am happy to say my girl makes a reasonably good amount more than I do
Too true. Although it’s always a sad day when you discover that certain friends are gold diggers after you achieve some measure of success. “I’ve always had a crush on you!” …suuuuuuuuure you did =/
.-= Sharky´s last blog ..A Voice Actor Has More Than One Voice. =-.
I hate to say that Good Charlotte hit the nail on the head, but there are girls who fit the “girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money” stereotype. I grew up in a small town in Southern California were this type of behavior was the talk of the town.
Now I just have to point out that this behavior is consider just as traditional to some women as it is to men. I remember when I told my dad about my now husband the first two questions he asked were: What is his major and what does his father do? (I will admit that this is coming from a man who is now married to one of the biggest gold diggers I have ever met). But the point is that girls are often told that they need a husband who is going to take care of them.
So men aren’t entirely to blame for this one. In the case of my hometown I would look at the culture itself as a large part of the problem.
Heard an interesting piece on a radio program this morning on this general topic, talking about how money plays into online dating:
Money, money, money gets you a date
Favorite bit was the behavioral economist saying “Yes, if you want to put it very coarsely, and maybe you shouldn’t put this on air, the gold digger stereotype holds true” as well as “There’s basically no sum of money that will make an unattractive woman desirable on these sites.”
Great! Males aren’t shallow enough to chase the money! Oh, wait, but they are shallow enough to be focused extensively on looks.