Dear Anon-O-Box: I Have Better Luck With Adult Dating Sites… and Not For Sex

(e’s note:  Welcome to new writer Y, who will be writing about alternative dating sites as well as geeky topics, including a review of the new Hello Kitty MMO.  We figured we’d break her in with this Anon-O-Box question about adult dating services.)

Dear Anon-O-Box,

I am interested in your services but a weird thing has happened with me and online dating. I have yet to get a date from eHarmony, Match, Chemistry, or PlentyOfFish (among others) yet bondage.com has lead to two actual relationships as well as many first and several second dates.

Why is it that these “adult” matchmaking sites are more effective? Note, most of those never involved sex so the “because people there are in a hurry to get laid” theory doesn’t hold.

- Whip Me, Chain Me, Love Me

Dear WCL,

You ask a very interesting question and one that is perhaps not emphasized enough! From my experience, the majority of people who use “adult” matchmaking sites have a more realistic idea of what they seek. Not to say that the users of eHarmony, Match, Chemistry or the other online dating sites are comprised of liars and dreamers, though!

This question is often overlooked due to its suggestive nature. The fact is, when a person uses an “adult” site, they know exactly what they are looking for, exactly what to expect, and they place themselves in the driver’s seat. There are no pre-screening tests to see if they “qualify” or any minimum requirements to meet. Anyone can sign up and anyone can have the opportunity to find something that is suited for them.

The only discretion is how much they divulge in their profile. People have a much easier time revealing their true desires when they don’t feel the pressure of monthly membership fees (because most of these sites offer a free version of their memberships), fear of rejection (because all they have to do is say no) or not getting the kind of relationship they are looking for (because everyone is very honest about their expectations).

People often conceive “adult” dating sites as a very taboo, dirty little corner of the online dating world and this is simply untrue. The truth is, finding that special geek love doesn’t have to come from the most publicized dating sites.

Happy dating, geek friend.

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