New Year’s Resolutions To Turn Your Dating Life Around in MMX

It’s the time of year when everyone is making their list of resolutions and making the affirmation that MMX will be the best year ever.

You probably have resolutions about your health (maybe even joining #fit4gencon!), your career, your habits, or even your hobbies.

But do you have a resolution about your dating life?

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to ring in 2011 with someone special or at least look back on 2010 and be able to say you had an active and fun romantic life and met some great people?

For my personal resolutions this year, I’m going with Chris Brogan’s Three Words method.  Here’s how you do it (snipped from the post, in case you’re too busy to head there right now):

  • Determine 3 guiding words for my efforts in 2010.
  • List 1-3 paths to accomplishing those goals (aka strategies).
  • List distractions that might possibly scuttle my efforts.
  • List the steps for each path (these are the projects that map to the goals).
  • List what the “finish line” looks like.
  • List what comes next, should I actually accomplish something major along those paths.

Using this method, here are two words you can (and should!) steal and apply to your love life in 2010. Go ahead, shamelessly copy and paste these into your own 2010 Resolutions document!

Goal Word: Dedication

Path 1 to dedication: Log into my dating site at least 3 days per week.

Path 2 to dedication: Write at least 5 first contact emails per week.

Path 3 to dedication: Attend at least one social event per month.

Distractions: Making excuses, getting “too busy” to do it, letting other things take priority when they shouldn’t

Steps to the path: Bookmark dating site and schedule time to log in and write emails, keep notes in Notepad in case I don’t have time to write an email right away on someone I find interesting, join meetup.com and find groups with events I can attend

The finish line: 20+ first contact emails sent per month, chatting with new people, meeting new people, having fun on dates and activities, meeting someone special

What’s next: Hopefully being in a relationship and canceling my dating site membership!

Goal: Open-Minded

Path 1 to open-minded: Expand my “about my date” requirements.

Path 2 to open-minded: Don’t write people off for little things.

Path 3 to open-minded: Don’t see first dates as a be-all, end-all. It’s just a meeting between two people. Nothing more, nothing less.

Distractions: Being stubborn, refusing to change, getting stuck in “I like what I like” mode, not giving people a chance because of little things

Steps to the path: Before rejecting someone, being honest with myself about exactly why I’m rejecting them. Ask myself hard questions – “Would I be angry if someone rejected me for this same reason?” “Is there a chance that their pictures don’t do them justice?” “If I hadn’t seen a picture of this person, would I be interested in them, even just as a friend?”

Have friends pick out matches for me based on people they think would be compatible with me. Email these people, even if I’m not 100% sure I’m interested. (Trust your friends, especially your oldest bestest friends!)

Stretch out my “about my date” qualifications on my profile so more people feel welcome to email me.

Go on at least one date a month with someone who I’m not really sure about.

See first dates as meetings rather than romantic rendezvous. There’s nothing wrong with coming out of a first date with a new friend or a greater understanding about myself and my taste in a partner.

The finish line: receiving more emails, chatting with new people, meeting new people, having fun on dates, meeting someone special

What’s next: Hopefully being in a relationship and canceling my dating site membership!

What About You?

Got another goal word that you’d like to apply to your love life in 2010?

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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