Virgin DM Monologues: A Delve Into Sharn’s Sewers

Welcome to the recap of the fifth session of my Eberron campaign, which took place on Tuesday, December 1, 2009.

Our adventurers recently went househunting with a perky realtor named Cecily and ran into some of Sharn’s more colorful characters, including a noble who was using their future house as a hideaway to rape women. (Ew!)

Cyd and Evan successfully delivered Frank to the University (with a bit of an escapade along the way involving a miniature pony with a taste for sentient flesh), and met the PCs back at Globe Information Agency.

The party tells Kava Velderan of their apartment “hunt” and give her the signet ring they took off the would-be rapist noble.  Kava recognizes the ring, but she tells them she’ll talk to them about it in the morning.

At breakfast, the party is introducing themselves to the new team member, Brick the Goliath Warden.  Brick explains that she is named Brick because she’s “big and… strong.. and gets power…. from… earth.”  Brick has 8 charisma. Eloquent speech really isn’t her thing.

Speaking of bright bulbs in the party, Beatdown doesn’t understand Eru the Kalashtar’s group telepathy.  He replies out loud when people send him thoughts. (This could get messy in certain situations!)

Turns out, the would-be rapist was a member of House Tharashk that was engaged in the business of kidnapping and sex slavery.  Kava had been investigating him and attempting to take him (and his colleagues) down so they didn’t ruin the reputation of the house.  Since Kava was hoping to break the case herself, she’s grateful but a little embarrassed.

There’s one more kidnapped girl to rescue, and she’s been hidden in the sewers below Sharn. Sewers that are swarming with weird snake cultists. The party ventures into the wet and stinky depths of the city, where they find the cultists who were guarding the rooms where the kidnappers had been hiding their girls.

The party endures some poisoning from the snaketongue’s greatswords, but on the whole, they’re mowing them down.  My favorite line from the battle:

Brick the Goliath to prone enemy:You’re even smaller than you were when you were standing.

The last cultist in the room pulls the switch to alert his allies in the next room of the invasion. It’s the last thing he could do before he died.

Modern Moment: The PCs are referring to the Kalashtar group telepathy as “the chat room.”  Beatdown sends the message: “LOL BODY LOL”

This is the second encounter Brick has rolled single digit initiative. “You have the reaction time of a brick,” Beatdown tells her. The party battles fire spitting flame snakes and two giant crushgrip constrictors in the murky sewer waters.  There was supposed to be stuff with terrain effects and things, but I’m still getting the hang of running monsters, so I generally forget to do the terrain stuff. Eventually I’ll get better and be able to add stuff like that in!

Fire spitting snakes are FUN!  Also, grabbing and squishing the fighter is fun. Does this make me an evil DM?  Mmmmm… however, our rogue did blinding barrage and totally took out both giant snakes and severely damaged a fire snake.  All without getting close to them.  Badass.

Our goliath is also pretty badass, and generally outperforming the warforged. If warforged felt emotion, we assume Beatdown would feel jealous and/or angry about it.

In the last encounter, the PCs encounter a snaketongue celebrant, some of his cronies, and a huge feymire crocodile. They’re pretty worried because they don’t see a prisoner anywhere.

They swarm the celebrant, and nearly kill him before I can do any of his cool moves. DANGIT, GUYS!! Anyhoo, I do manage to get the Coils of Despair off and restrain the party. Mwah ha ha!

The crocodile was really scary and did tons of damage. He really worried the party a lot as he munched on the fighter.

Second favorite quote of the evening:

Now that the croc has me in his jaws, I have him right where I want him.” – Beatdown, while being eaten

In the end, the PCs were victorious, but confused. Where was the girl? They finally hear the sound of fists banging against the walls and someone yelling.  Under the platform where the snaketongue celebrant was standing they find a door and a little room where they rescue the girl, who is very, very grateful.

The party goes back to Globe to deliver the rescued girl back to the office so she can be reunited with her family.

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About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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