The Fine Line Between Apathy and an Open Mind

While talking with one of my clients, we were discussing the importance of filling out all the little checks and boxes of your dating profile properly.

He’d left most of his “About My Date” area as “Any” since he said he was open to any kind of woman – he found lots of different kinds of women attractive and had very few dealbreakers.

Sounds great, right? He should show up in lots of those Mutual Matches on Match.com since he left everything wide open!

Well, yeah. But that’s where the benefits come to an abrupt stop.

As a former online dating veteran (it was a fun journey!), I can tell you this: if you leave your “About My Date” part completely blank, it sends the message that you’re desperate for any female you can find.

It doesn’t say, “I’m open to different races and religions and la dee da.”

But let’s be honest. We tend to date the same kinds of people. You know at least a broad idea of the kinds of people you are attracted to, so it’s best to mark that down in your profile.  For example, you know you’d rather date a non-smoker or someone between 5’4″ and 6’1″ or someone who lives within 30 miles of you.

Sure, you’d consider people outside that range, but since you’ll be doing the first contact emails, you can be in charge of finding and emailing those people. Don’t worry about these imaginary people just yet, okay? You’ll find them in your custom searches and if you’re lucky, they’ll find you!

But what if you ARE totally open about something, for example, race? Even if it means selecting all of the ethnicities, it’s better that leaving it blank like you don’t care either way. Selecting all of them looks like you took the time to consider and check things individually. That’s anything but apathetic.

Happy dating, geek friends.

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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