Y Me?: Reminders of Your Beloved’s Ex
You know that list of things you’d like to avoid in life? The “I hope that never happens to me” list? I think I’ve experienced them all now. At least, I thought I did…
I don’t have a coat (unfortunate, but true). Most mornings, I suck it up and just withstand the cold since you only really need a coat one day a year here in North Carolina.
Until, of course, this morning. My boyfriend and I were getting ready to walk out the door when his extra coat (that’s been hanging in our closet) began to look very warm and inviting against the dreadful cold that loomed on the other side of our front door. Pressed for time, I grabbed it and we went on our merry way.
I immediately felt something press against my side but dismissed it as the coat pushing my cell phone against my body.
This is where I must say – don’t ever dismiss ANYTHING your intuition questions.
We get to the light rail station and do our morning car swapping ritual (he takes the light rail while I rack up the miles on the odometer) when again, I noticed something press against my side as I hugged him good-bye.
It wasn’t until approximately 10 minutes later, while I was stopped at a red light, that I rested my hand on that very spot again and noticed that it was definitely NOT my phone. It was also in the left coat pocket. A pocket I had yet to use.
“Okay,” I thought, “Lucy [his ex - not her real name] was a pothead. It must be a cigar she was going to turn into a blunt.”
Without even realizing it, I unzipped the pocket, reached my hand inside and proceeded to pull out said “cigar.” Is anyone thinking Bill and Monica yet? Well, it’s worse. I don’t know what happened first…
..the realization that I was holding a vibrator…
…a USED VIBRATOR…
…a used vibrator in MY BOYFRIEND’S COAT POCKET…
…a used vibrator in my boyfriend’s coat pocket that BELONGED TO HIS EX-WIFE…
…or that EVERY DRIVER AROUND ME AT THE STOP LIGHT WAS LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF!
I immediately call my boyfriend, feeling embarrassed and almost betrayed. Not to mention the loss of dignity! I explain what had just transpired and the reply I received left very little to be desired.
“Well, that explains where it went…”
What?! I’m usually very collected and quick to reach a point of understanding in unusual situations. I usually respond to them quite rationally. However, this is one of those things that you see in movies, hear about on TV or even read about on “stupid news” but NEVER would expect to happen in real life!! I am at a complete loss as to what I’m feeling or how I’m supposed to feel.
In the end, I love him and I know he loves me, which is all that matters. Nevertheless, the question remains, how thorough should one be when faced with a spring cleaning of past relationships? Is it fair to expect every trace of your beloved’s past relationships never to haunt your present? Or do things like this, in fact, happen to every couple?
What do you think?
Born in Taiwan, Y has traveled the world both near and far. She has spent many years exploring all aspects of life, including the more intimate ones. She enjoys enlightening and educating those with an interest in understanding what was once considered "taboo" through her unique experiences and knowledge. Email Y or ask your question anonymously on our Contact Us page.
Reminds me of the day my two year old came out of the bedroom with a vibrator to his cheek, because it “feels good!” (Thankfully, my mother in law had just left.)
Laura Paulsen´s last blog ..A confession
First: HAHAHAHAHA!
Second: I’m really sorry for your bad experience.
As unusual as your experience was, it is impossible to run away from the Ghost of his/her past. Must of us try to block it or run from it; not too many people like to be reminded that before you, he was having sex with somebody else. But getting angry though a natural reaction, we need to understand that getting angry at someone for having lived is as irrational of being angry at the weather.
Since your case was so unique, laugh at it (due time), praise the lord he learned not to date potheads anymore.
I am, unfortunately, something of an old pro at the ‘dealing with ex’ issues.
Of course it is totally unfair to ask someone to remove part of their life from the world of sunlight. One of the things that moved me towards the path of being mature enough to be married was removing most of the jealousy stress.
So how thorough should one be? Not too, I hope. I bring my wife out to cozy little nooks where I brought past cannodles, and I certainly don’t expect her to throw out the necklace her ex-fiance bought her, since she likes it.
You like you guy for what he is. And part of what makes him right for you is the past that formed him into what he has become.
LordVreeg´s last blog ..edited Transport in Celtricia
OMG, just read this. I can’t believed that happened. How horrible! Ick, probably no one’s fault but still….