Back in the days before online dating, we connected to other singles through our personal networks. Once those possibilities dried up, we moved on to finding people through mutual interests – spiritual communities, activity groups, and (as dangerous as it can be) work.
Twitter allows us to connect to people in almost the same way. Let’s take a look at how you can scope out possible dates:
Check out the people your real life friends follow. Chances are, you already know the locals, but there’s always a chance there’s someone on the edge of their social circle that you’ve never met.
Go to http://search.twitter.com and click on Advanced Search:
Next, fill in your ZIP code and search radius. Depending on the population in your area, you could find plenty of people within 20 miles, or need to stretch to 100 or more. Play with this number to see how it works for your location.
You could just hit SEARCH here and see what you can see. Check out some profiles and follow people that you find interesting. Or, you can take it a step further and insert some keywords.
Maybe you want someone who loves dogs, or plays Dungeons & Dragons (#dnd), or loves hiking. Load up the “Any of these terms” box with the keywords you’re interested in:
Scope out the tweets and follow people that you find interesting.
Don’t Be “That Guy”
Let’s say you find your dream tweep. They’re in your area, they tweet about things that interest you, and you find out through a little bit of watching (and admit it, google stalking) that they are single.
“That Guy” ruins it for himself nearly instantaneously by getting way too excited way too quickly.
He does any or all of the following things:
- Sends her @ replies to nearly everything she tweets.
- RT’s nearly everything she says, commenting on how witty/funny/intelligent she is.
- Whines to his followers if she doesn’t tweet him back. “Oh, how I wish @geeksdreamgirl would talk to me… but she must be too busy…“
- Inserts himself into her @ conversations with other people.
- If she follows back, he DMs her far too often.
- Stalks her on Facebook, her blog, forums, or just about anywhere else she hangs online.
While I do refer to this person as “that guy,” it is also something girls do to guys who interest them. Don’t be that stalker person – it’s not flattering, it’s downright creepy and annoying.
How to Woo Someone On Twitter
Wooing someone on Twitter is a bit of an art. You have to teeter on a fine line between friendly and interested. Go too far into the interested category and you risk being seen as a stalker. Go too far into the friends category and you could lose them to someone who gets to the finish line before you. Oh, the frustration!!
Steps to Woo on Twitter:
- Don’t worry if you don’t get a follow back. In fact, think of it as an opportunity – she won’t see everything you tweet, just the things you want her to see.
- Start with a RT. If something your crush tweets is funny or useful, retweet it. Stick to one or two RTs a day, maximum.
- Don’t reply twice. You know what I mean, folks. If you reply to something she says, and she doesn’t reply back, don’t reply again about the same thing.
- Suggest links. If you find an article that would be interesting to your crush, send her an @ and let her know about it.
- Be patient. You’re building trust. This isn’t going to happen overnight. Think about your best Twitter buds… they took a while to become mutual good friends. It’ll be the same here.
- Move it off Twitter. Once you have the follow-back and the rapport, drop your IM handle in a DM and suggest that you chat sometime in more than 140 characters.
- Lather, rinse, repeat. Continue to build up the rapport through conversation. It’s much easier to flirt through IMs, too!
- Do your research. You know what your crush likes, so your job is to find a great place to meet that’s impossible to pass up. For example, you just “happen” to have an extra ticket to the Jonathan Coulton concert on Friday.
- Meet somewhere public. A concert, festival, museum walk, anywhere that’s an activity date. If you have similar interests, being in this kind of environment will be a positive experience and give you instant conversation fodder.
- Flirt! If you feel there’s a connection, flirt it up! Let her know the next day that you had a great time and you’d love to hang out with her again soon – maybe dinner on Wednesday followed by D&D Encounters?
Happy dating, geek friends!