Coping With Being Single: Ur Doin’ It Wrong

What do you think of her? Pretty hot, no? She’s fit, pretty, and she’s got no less than three geeky-awesome items on her.

But when the folks at Geeks Are Sexy posted this picture on their Facebook Fan page, the first comment was from a girl mocking the girl in the photo for having a hairy belly. This was followed by folks either saying they didn’t see it (or didn’t care!), or people (mostly women) having a laugh at the model’s expense.

Really, people?

Girls, Seriously, Grow the Hell Up

Do you know how closely you have to zoom into that photo to see the tiny bit of fuzz on her belly? Yeah, she’s got a happy trail, but most women (especially brunettes) do. Whether you shave, pluck, bleach or wax yours is your business.  This girl obviously decided hers wasn’t dark enough to bother with – and judging by the ring on her left hand, her husband agrees.

Women have this horrible habit of picking out every little flaw in other women – especially women that threaten them in some way. May the gods forbid a woman who is hotter than you enter the scene!  Even if she’s just a nameless stranger on the internet, you’re obligated to point and laugh at her flaws – even if they’re so tiny that they don’t matter.

It worked to make you feel better about yourself in middle school – but you’re an adult now. How about growing up and admitting that the girl is hot and if you happened to swing that way, you’d take her home?

…and here’s a hint, single ladies. Men think it’s sexy when you can admire a hottie with them. It says that you’re confident enough in yourself to be able to appreciate the beauty of other women. (It also fuels their fantasies that you may one day agree to a threesome, but I think that’s an article for Y to write.) Either way, if you point out and admire other women, your guy will not run off with them. He’ll find YOU more sexy.

Guys, You’re Not Off The Hook

While the majority of critics of this girl’s photo were women, guys aren’t innocent of these super-high standards.  Here’s another internet example that actually ties into someone I know in real life.  One of my ex’s college buddies is in the 501st. (For those not in the know, these are the folks who dress up like stormtroopers for cons and parades and such.)

She is totally sexy – perfectly sculpted body (she’s a personal trainer), beautiful long blonde hair, pretty face. (And sorry guys, she is very happily married.)

But yet, somebody made this “motivational poster” using a photo of her from a convention:

Here’s a closer version of the original photo:

…I’m having a hard time figuring out what is wrong with these ladies to cause someone to make such a rude comment in the “motivational poster” version.

Another Example Of Doin’ It Wrong

There’s a single guy I know: he’s got a decent personality (a tad annoying, but a nice person) but his idea of fashion includes various sweatpants and t-shirts, accessorized with dingy tube socks and sneakers. He’s constantly going on about how he can’t find a woman to date, but whenever single women are around, he’s picking them apart and saying they’re not “pretty enough” for him. They can be smart, sweet, save puppies from burning buildings, and everything else, but he’s not interested in them if they don’t meet his impossible standard of “pretty enough.”

Know a guy like that? I’ll bet you do.  (I’ll bet a few people reading this are that guy.)

Here’s my theory (and yep, it’s gonna hurt a bit, brace for it):

When you can’t get any woman,

it’s easier to pretend that

none of them are good enough for you.

Coping With Being Single The Right Way

Being single can suck.  But resorting to schoolyard style put-downs of everyone in the world doesn’t do anything except make you look more unattractive.  If you’re constantly picking apart and making fun of women you see when you’re out with friends, do you know what your friends are thinking?

“I wonder what s/he says about me when I’m not around.”

And when your friends can’t trust you to not be putting them down behind their backs, how can they in good conscience recommend that their single friends date you?

Kick the habit:

  1. Before you open your mouth to say something about a person, think “Is this comment for MY benefit? Am I going for a laugh here?” If the answer is yes, keep it to yourself.
  2. Make a point to compliment at least 3 different people to their face every day. Even if it’s just to say that a coworker’s home-cooked lunch smells delicious. Get addicted to making people smile for positive reasons.
  3. If you’re online dating, resist the urge to make snap judgments about someone based on 2-3 pictures.  The glow of someone’s energy is extremely hard to capture on film, especially by amateur photographers. Give more people a chance.

Changing your attitude will change your world. Happy dating, geek friends.

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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