Amazing video. I love Evan Marc Katz, he’s been an inspiration to me from the moment I stepped on the online dating biz scene. This video is 2 minutes of pure gold and a must-watch for single guys and girls.
I will add there’s another possible reason why that guy hasn’t moved forward: he’s petrified that you’ll reject him. (Still.) I have clients who will exchange several emails with a girl and it’s obvious that she’s digging him but they’ll still be afraid to make the next move.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, guys. Be brave!
About e
After chatting with someone on Twitter, I’d like to be extra clear:
THIS DOESN’T APPLY TO ALL MEN. If it doesn’t apply to you, be happy that you’re not part of the herd. Just understand there IS a herd. The vast majority of men doing online dating are doing at least one of these major faux pas. And that’s why women don’t reply to their emails.
Again, if you’re better, if you do it right, then AWESOME. You rock. Smile and move on with your day.
I don’t feel comfortable with dating and just like to make friends. I forget to ask a woman out and it still makes me nervous and often I’ll never ask, usually developing an excuse it my head that makes sense.
@Sammy – I’m sorry to hear that. But… why would you be on a dating site if you’re not looking to date?
This is so true.
And a great reminder to ladies to not be an option or a backup…
Although I admit I liked the idea of sending out 50 to see what comes back. I know mostly people only want ‘the one’, but the more I look around these dating advice blogs, it seems as with other areas in life – playing it smart, having a strategy and playing the numbers game does seem to be producing results.
Thanks Evan
.-= Cathy J´s last blog ..Fairytale: Seeking Happily Ever After =-.
Obviously people meet partners online and even marry so it can work. However, it’s not for the vast majority and it can be like searching for a needle in a haystack. Out of the 100 or so people I know/would call friends, 4 have met their partners online.
Going back to the topic, perhaps the major reason why a guy (I speak from experience) will send out 50 emails is because the general response rate isn’t that great (I might get a 20% response rate and I consider myself fairly attractive with a well written profile when I was on Match) so he knows that if he sends only 4 emails, he may not even get a response. That’s obviously not good for a person’s ego/self-esteem
Sending out 50 means that statistically there’s some chance of a response and it becomes a bit of an ego boost exercise. The corollary is that most guys online will regrettably email girls they would absolutely NEVER consider going out with offline and this is why most online communications on dating sites lead to absolutely nowhere and why women online have the impression that the vast majority of men are time-wasters (which has some truth to it I’m afraid).
But why do men play the numbers game and why is the response rate generally poor? Men vastly outnumber women on any dating site you can name which has a number of inevitable consequences:
1) An average looking women will receive far attention/messages than a man of similar attractiveness online especially if she’s under 30;
2) Thus, Women appear to have much more choice than men do so tend to filter very aggressively;
3) Online dating is invariable more superficial (somewhat curious but true) as it’s very difficult to project personality, charm and other favourable personality traits into a profile which would make a man appealing to a woman in person so the whole process becomes a somewhat cynical cost benefit analysis (How tall is he? Is he too short? Is he attractive? How much does he earn? Does he own a home? What does he do for a living?);
4) And this has the knock on effect of average looking women becoming rather picky online (particularly if they’re under 30) and this is self-defeating as they’ll probably have a number of conversations that won’t lead to anywhere and thus miss someone compatible further propagating the idea that the vast majority of men online are time-wasters.
That’s why online dating is flawed for most people.