Dear Anon-O-Box: What Do Guys Think Of Ladies’ Profiles?


Dear Anon-O-Box,

I’m a female and I’m really picky when it comes to guys’ profiles. So many of them need your advice badly.

But I wonder if the same is true the other way around. I don’t look at woman’s websites, but do men respond more to the picture than to what is written in the “about me” section?

Would an attractive girl still get a lot of hits and interest if she committed the crimes you state on your site? It would be an interesting experiment, I think.

Curious Cathy

e answers:

Dear Cathy,

It seems you have a few questions here, so don’t mind me divvying this post up into the various topics. You’re lucky that I have a pretty huge insight into the male mind since a vast majority of our clients are male.

Are Girls’ Profiles Just As Bad?

Yes, yes, and hell yes.  I read a lot of women’s profiles as I’m working with our male clients and I can tell you, they’re just as bad, if not worse than the men.

Women are more prone to wear their ex on their sleeve. After reading a woman’s profile, I can often tell you why their last relationship ended.  Sometimes in uncanny detail. I’ve been accused of being psychic (or a witch!), but really, it’s just reading between the lines. Sometimes it’s not even that hard.

Women wave their red flags proudly, thinking they’ll drive the wrong men away. “No cheaters! No college dropouts! No liars! I want a man who knows how to treat a woman like a WOMAN!” Rawr!

Women make all the same mistakes. Every mistake guys make in their profiles, women do too.  Mars and Venus aren’t so different in the end.

Do Men Respond To Pictures Or Profiles?

That wholly depends on the guy. While men are visual creatures and will judge a book by its cover, you can’t paint the entire gender with one brush. Allow me to introduce you – anonymously, of course – to a few of our former clients.

“Alfonzo” was a flavor of the week type guy. One week, he wanted help writing 10 different blondes. The next week it was 10 different brunettes. The next week it was 10 Asian girls. There was nothing in their profiles beyond their age range that these girls had in common, which lead us to believe he was going more for style than substance. We see VERY FEW guys like Alfonzo.

“Bertram” definitely had a type:  he loved very dark haired brunettes, preferably with glasses. But beyond that, he pored over every profile and wanted to make she was the right brunette. There were plenty of hotties that he turned down because something in their profile didn’t ring right. Bertrams are more common than Alfonzos.

“Chester” is our typical client. He might have a type that sways some of his choices, but he’s open-minded about other types of women. He reads profiles and writes thoughtful first contact emails (after we give him some pointers!).

Chester complains to us when there’s a cute girl who doesn’t say much about herself in her profile. On the one hand, he’d like to write her. On the other hand, what if she’s not his type and he leads her to think he’s interested?

He worries about hurting your feelings. He worries about impressing you. He worries you won’t write back, even if it’s just to say no thanks. He’s really looking for the right girl – on the outside and inside.

It breaks my heart when good guys get totally ignored by girls who are “too busy” to write a quick “No Thanks” email.  But that’s a story for another post entirely.

Would a “Criminal” Girl Profile With a Hot Picture Get Dates?

One word answer: Yes.

She would get dates, but they would be guys like Alfonzo, who are interested in girls mainly for their looks. She might get a Bertram or two if he could get over her profile. Some Bertrams will, others won’t. The Chesters of the world would pick up the vibe that she’s more trouble than the good looks are worth.

There’s a chance she’d get lucky and find a guy who is compatible in the long haul, but the chances are much better if she invests a little time and energy making her profile as attractive as her photos.

Happy dating, geek friends!

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