Virgin DM Monologues: Got A Beaf With This Weather

Welcome to the recap of the 26th session of my Eberron campaign, which took place on Tuesday, September 21st, 2010. When we last saw the party, they had accepted a job as bodyguards to the renowned opera singer Lady Tyasha d’Phiarlan as she traveled around the continent to lecture students at the Five Demesnes.

Two days before their departure, Kava Velderan calls the party to her office. There is some sort of weather phenomenon happening in Wroat which has closed the lightning rail station there. Unless it’s fixed, there’s no way Tyasha can go on her tour. She won’t take airships because she’s afraid of flying (and allergic to peanuts. They always serve peanuts on airships.)

Lady Tyasha throws a diva-sized hissy fit and wants half of the party to go to Wroat and clean things up so she can travel. The rest can stay in Sharn to protect her, in case this weather phenomenon was just a diversion or some sort of pre-attack on her. (An attempt was made on her life a few months back.)

Beatdown, Brick, Fang, and Ulvein travel to Wroat by airship. They’re given a ride by Ren d’Lyrandar, the young and handsome airship captain. He asks about how Jelly is doing and tells the party to pass his regards on to her. (The players now wonder that since Jelly recently learned she’s Khoravar, maybe she’s related to Ren, and wouldn’t it be funny if they fell in love but then it turned out they were siblings? Yeah, we’re horrible people.)

He chats with the PCs on the ride. They ask about House Lyrandar, specifically the Raincaller’s Guild. Obviously, they can control the weather… could this be a member of their house? Ren shakes his head. There’s no way. Looking at the cloud as they approach, he points out the ways that it’s not consistent with his house’s magic. At least, as best as he can. It’s not really his expertise.

The PCs are dropped off outside of the city because Ren won’t fly the airship into the dark cloud, which hangs just East of Wroat, its edge perfectly aligned to be over just the lightning rail station. He gives the PCs potions of acid resistance, which should protect them for about a day. Super expensive, he says, but they’ll only need a day to do the job if they do it right.

After arriving in Wroat and checking out the abandoned lightning rail station, they press further into town, beyond the raincloud’s effect and find the office for the lightning rail. A blue-haired gnome named Beren is the manager of the station and he’s really upset that it’s closed. None of his employees can work in these conditions!

The Lyrandar enclave is the second place the PCs visit. They’re still thinking that House Lyrandar is behind this – but… wouldn’t Ren not want to help them? – is House Lyrandar trying to disable the lightning rail so everyone has to take airships everywhere?

They meet Aanna d’Lyrandar of the Raincallers Guild. She’s extremely concerned about the acid spewing raincloud and admits that if it doesn’t get cleaned up soon, people are going to start rumors that Lyrandar is experimenting with weaponized weather. She has NO interest in stirring up those kind of rumors and sliding back into war. Fang watches her carefully as she speaks and determines she is telling the truth.

Aanna says that she’s even sent adventurers to try to get to the cause of the raincloud and take it out, but none of her parties has come back alive. She offers the PCs a reward if they can return any of her employees that they might find while on their mission.

The party walks East of Wroat for about an hour, the sky getting darker and darker as they get closer to the center of the acid cloud. Their skin stings under the acid rain and they can’t imagine how bad it would be if they hadn’t drunk those potions. The grass and vegetation is dead. No large animals are to be seen, and there are small dead creatures everywhere. The chipmunks, squirrels, and bunnies couldn’t get out in time. Brick (our warden), is very upset by this.

Ulvein tracks the arcane energy of the cloud to its center, which is outside a dirt mound which appears to be the entrance to some sort of underground building. But the party isn’t alone… the ground rumbles and a purple worm appears, doing its best to swallow the PCs.

Only Brick gets swallowed, and he sees the bodies of other adventurers in there.  He manages to roll on his purple worm physiology check and smacks the worm in its gag reflex, causing it to vomit him back up. Ew. After the worm is dead, Ulvein searches around the dirt mound and finds the ingredients to some arcane explosives.  Since his Khorvaire Common isn’t so good (he just moved from Xen’drik, where he lived way out in the jungle), he repeatedly tells Beatdown that he has expletives.

They carefully open the door and find a long tunnel that circles down into the earth. There are everburning torches on the walls. When they get to the bottom, it opens into a room with a large magic circle in the center. A female wizard stands in the center, her arms raised. Black & green energy swirls around her and goes up through a hole in the ceiling which goes all the way up to the sky. Four bodies are strategically placed around her, looking pretty lifeless.

Brick charges in immediately. “YOU BUNNY KILLER!!!!”  he screams.

(Note: I had the Five Nations book out for reference tonight and we were laughing about how a “common” Brelish name for a female was “Beaf.” We giggled about it so much that I decided to just name the evil wizard lady Beaf.)

Beaf summons minions, which she immediately infuses with extra life. (Yep, Beaf infusion. Ulvein’s player: “Behold, the infusion of Beaf!” And Brick’s player: “Infusing with Beaf makes everything better!” We’re all going to hell.)

Luckily, the acid resistance potions gave the relatively small party a big advantage in the battle, especially since her minions were acid oozes. They did shove the party around a bit and keep them at bay, but weren’t deadly at all. When they got Beaf to within an inch of her life, Beatdown intimidated her into surrendering. She made an attempt to stab herself with her dagger, but Fang was quick to notice and the party disarmed her.

She babbled about how she worked for “The Master” and how the land must die to be reborn, but it’s nothing the PCs recognize as related to anything they already have been fighting, or related to Lady Tyasha at all.  They tie her up, gag her, and drag her back to Wroat, turning her in to the authorities there, which they deem is a worse punishment than giving her the death she wants. They also bring back the four adventurers, which Aanna gladly rewards them for doing.

The storm cloud dissipates and Wroat’s lightning rail station is able to open for business as usual. Beren gives the four party members vouchers to be used for three stops worth of travel the next time they need to ride the lightning rail as a thank you gift and the party flies back to Sharn to make preparations for their trip to Karnath with Lady Tyasha.

…but that’s a story for next time…

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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