Dear Anon-O-Box: Geek Girls Exist, but SINGLE ONES Are Unicorns!

Dear Anon-O-Box,

After lots of time on the internet, I have discovered that geek girls are most definitely not fiction. SINGLE geek girls around my age (22), however, most definitely DO seem to be fiction. If a girl doesn’t already have a boyfriend then she’s married or in high school, it seems like. Where’s a guy supposed to meet a girl if there are none available? Help!


I-can’t-think-of-a-fancy-pseudonym John Doe

e answers:

Dear John,

I hear ya.

As you’ve noticed, we geek girls are hot commodities and don’t stay on the market terribly long.  It requires being on your toes and having your pulse on the singles community to be able to swoop in when one is single.

You’re also in the age bracket where you are still able to date an 18-year-old high school student, but not necessarily interested in doing so. In your 20s, there’s also the split between the people who are settling down for careers and/or family and those who are partying like they’re still in college. This makes finding a compatible single person even more challenging, in my opinion.

There are two ways to go about your quest for a single geek girl. The first is to get out and join some activities where you can meet more geeky people. I say “people” because meeting more geek guys is a GOOD THING for your dating life. Meeting married geek girls is a GOOD THING for your dating life. You’re expanding your social circle. You’re making friends and showing that you can be a friend. And when a single girl comes along – maybe the sister or cousin or coworker of one of those people – then you have people who can vouch for what a great guy you are. You have friends who are willing to set you up. Check out to find groups in your area, or check out the adult education classes at your local library or community center.

The second is to hunt the geek girl in her natural habitat – the internet.  I wish you had mentioned where you live because I could have resurrected a really old series I used to do called Finding A Geek Girl. While it can be difficult to find geeky people in small towns or extremely rural areas, if you live anywhere near a major city, there are often plenty of geek or geek-friendly singles.

The key to keyword searches is not to search for geek. Okay, well, you can START there, but you’ll have to weed out the people who say “I’m not a geek” or “I don’t want a geek.”  Same thing with “games.”  Think of the specific things that you like and search for those. It’s more likely you’ll hit gold searching for something like “otaku” or “battlestar galactica” or “RPG.”

If your dating site of choice allows it, SAVE all of the custom searches you set up, even if zero girls pop up as a result. Saving your searches means less time “working” at online dating and more time getting to the dating part! One day, you may be pleasantly surprised when your search for an obscure anime pops up with a result and it’s your dreamgirl.

Happy dating, geek friend! The unicorns are out there, and in greater numbers than you think.

P.S. to everyone: If you’re interested in me resurrecting the Finding A Geek Girl series, post a comment with your ZIP code (or ZIP of a nearby city) and the age range of women you’re interested in finding. I may just start doing those posts again if there’s enough interest.

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