True Story: I Found Online Dating Advice On Gizmodo

(The story starts at 3:15. Feel free to skip to that part.)

The internet is a strange and wonderful place. Just the other day, I followed a link to Gizmodo to watch a video about a hacker whose computer was stolen and the clever way he retrieved the information necessary to get it back.

Even as a not-very-computer-savvy person, I found this story to be immensely entertaining. In short, the hacker was able to connect to his stolen computer and look in on everything the thief did.

One thing that the guy was doing was trying to get laid. I say this because he seemed to be taking quite a few naked self-portraits and posting them to dating sites and emailing them to women. Since most dating sites don’t accept naked photos, I can take a few guesses as to what sites he was trolling.

The hacker was a little confused because the keylogger showed the guy pressing Ctrl-V a lot. It turned out the guy had written one email and was cutting and pasting it to hundreds of different women. (Doesn’t that make you feel special, ladies? You were worth him pressing two keys!)

Lessons You Can Learn About Online Dating

  1. Self-portraits nearly always look crappy. Have someone else hold the camera. A real camera.
  2. Naked photos are not the way to attract non-hooker ladies. (Especially if you’re a grower. *cough*)
  3. You may get a few results if you cut-and-paste the same email to 100 people. You’ll get better results if you take five minutes to write each person a personalized email.

Oh, and the #1 Life Lesson…

Don’t steal a computer from a hacker.

About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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