Who Wants The Secret To More Replies on Match.com?

What if I told you there was a surefire way to increase the replies you get to emails you send on Match.com by 44%? And that this “trick” could be applied to plenty of other dating sites just as easily with similar results?

Don’t worry, I haven’t gone all sleazy pick-up artist on you. (You know how my lovely assistant J and I feel about those people.) But I am going to tell you a quick and easy way to make your inbox a little more full (or less empty, depending on how your experience has been).

It all started with an email. This particular guy noticed a trend and decided he’d email me to see if this was just anecdotal evidence or a real deal statistic in play.

Yeppers, my geek brethren are smart cookies. Y’all want data and well… I’m happy to dig a little deeper and get it for you. I emailed Colin Burns, the Social Media Manager at Match.com and posed the question to him. He ducked into the magical data mine at Match.com and came up with an answer.

You’d better get a pen and paper and write this on a sticky note. Attach it to your monitor.


If you send a first contact email to someone who has already scoped out your profile,
the response rate is 44% higher
than if you email someone who has not yet seen your profile.

Those people are sending a signal – they noticed you. They noticed you enough to click on your profile and read it.

Why didn’t they email you, then?

  1. They were too busy and planned to email you later.
  2. They were too shy. (Some people don’t send ANY first contact emails. Ever.)
  3. They thought, “He/she’d never go for someone like me.
  4. They were confused by a part of your profile and decided not to chance it.
  5. They weren’t 100% sure about you.
  6. etc, etc.

Bottom line: They noticed you. On some level, your profile was intriguing to them. This is why you’ll have a 44% higher response rate rather than cold-emailing someone who has never seen your profile.

Do I mention I noticed they saw me?

That’s up to you.  If you can bring it up in a way that’s not creepy (“Yo babe, saw you lookin’ at me. Now I’m lookin’ at YOU!”) or pathetic (“Um, so, I saw you looking at my profile but you didn’t email so maybe you’re just shy or maybe you got totally turned off by my profile. I hope it’s the former.”), then go for it.

But really, you don’t have to mention it. Just write your regular first contact email (click here for tips!) and send it off, knowing you have a 44% higher chance of getting a response. Pretty awesome, right?

Need A Deal?

If you’re looking for a deal on a Match.com subscription, the link below will give you some free time! It’s an affiliate link, which means should you purchase a subscription, a small percentage will come back to Geek’s Dream Girl, which little by little, helps defer the costs of maintaining our site and keeps us in the business of coaxing valuable tidbits like this article out of dating site employees. But we love supporting your dating life even if you don’t support us. We’re cool like that. :-)


Want more advice like this? Check out our online dating ebook.

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About e

Since 2008, E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl has been helping geeks from around the world find love. She writes amazing online dating profiles for her fellow geeks and guides them through the perilous waters of the dating scene and out the other side. She's totally proud to report that she's even caused a couple geek weddings! She lives in Maryland with DaveTheGame, her adorable cats, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan, and Titania, Queen of the Cocker Spaniels. (Email e, or follow @geeksdreamgirl on Twitter.)

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