The folks at YourTango are declaring a new annual holiday: February 13th is Break Up With Your Ex Day.
I’ll bet your first thought was: “Wait, if they’re my ex it’s because I already broke up with them!”
(At least, that was my first thought before I read the article.)
But nope, that’s not it. This holiday is the day that you unfollow your exes on Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare, or anywhere else you might follow them.
Keeping in touch with, or even just keeping tabs on an ex can make it harder to embrace the present, whether you’re healing from the breakup, looking for new love, or embracing a new relationship.
You can have a clean break. No more obsessing over the ex. No more “checking in” to look at pictures of them with their new flame (and then comparing the new flame to yourself, and then getting sad because they are “better” than you in some way).
On the one hand, I can see how this would be beneficial for some people. If it makes you feel better to completely erase all evidence of your ex, then go ahead and do it.
But on the other hand, you had good times with that person. You have happy memories. You have mutual friends. And (here’s the biggest thing), if you erase your ex from digital existence, it’s easier to forget the lessons you learned in that relationship. And make them again.
There are only two of my long term boyfriends that I am not friends with on Facebook. The first one is because we had an ugly breakup. I’ll chalk it up to us being young n’stupid. The second cut me out. We didn’t have a horrible breakup, just one of those “we’re not making each other happy, let’s go separate ways” type breakups, but he blocked me from everything. Never knew what went through his mind, but I got over it and moved on.
Have I scoped out new girlfriends of my exes? Sure. Have I lamented a bit when they got engaged or married? Sure. But y’know what? Coping with those emotions have made me a stronger person.
But hey, that’s just me… what do you think?
Leave an elaboration to your answer in the comments if you wish. I’d love to hear your stories about dealing with exes in the digital space.
Unrelated note: YourTango was one of the first sites to write a post about my services, back in the day. Awww.